We were sitting next to each other on a hammock, talking about our future when I realized I didn’t know what my options were.
My boyfriend, almost fiancé, at the time and I were already talking about our wedding day and what our marriage would look like. After just two months of knowing each other, we both knew we had found “the one.” And we were saving ourselves for each other, including our first kiss, till we became husband and wife.
But when the topic of how to prevent pregnancy arose as we sat next to each other, I realized I didn’t fully know what my options were in terms of protection.
I had heard of several of them here and there between my sisters and friends, and the birth control pill was the most common of them. But I had heard both good and bad things about the pill and I wasn’t sure if that was the best option for me.
I started to do my research and heard about Natural Family Planning. It was like a whole new world for me – a natural way to prevent pregnancy without birth control!
But before I dive into all the juicy details about why Natural Family Planning is an amazing resource and tool to prevent pregnancy, let me show you the series this blog post is a part of…
- Our Love Story
- Why We Waited To Kiss and Have Sex Till Marriage
- 4 Practical Dating Tips for Christian Women In Their Early 20’s
- The 7 Best Christian Books You Need To Read Before Marriage
- How To Accomplish A Gorgeous Wedding For Only $2,000
- How To Easily Prevent Pregnancy Without Birth Control
- 6 Things I Learned In The First Three Months Of Marriage
- 13 Surprising Benefits When You Get Married Young
- How To Plan A Remote Honeymoon In The Mountains
- How To Keep Your House Clean With Puppies
What Are The Options? What Should You Be Aware Of?
Natural Family Planning is not the only option for preventing pregnancy. But, I firmly believe that every woman should know all her options and be able to make the best decision for her body and herself. I love this option because it naturally allows your body to act in the way that God created it to.
When we look at all the options for preventing pregnancy, the most common is “the pill.” Most of my friends were taking this in high school or even middle school, either to regulate their periods, prevent acne, or fix some other problem.
However, the pill is simply a hormonal supplement to make sure your body does not release the egg it creates from your ovaries, and as a result, you can never get pregnant. However, in turn, it messes with your hormones and can often cause many side effects. Many of my friends told me when they would experience these: extreme moodiness, sick, bloated, unhappy, or in pain. Don’t believe me? Ask around or look it up yourself.
Those side-effects did not make me want to participate. Also, I have always had a regular cycle, and messing with that was the last thing I wanted to do. So many would die to be in my place, as it just makes life easier.
The other birth control options just didn’t seem any better to the pill and also involved messing with my body. Condoms are often considered a natural form; however, they can easily break or tear and are not the most preventative method.
Check out this article from an awesome blogger on all the birth control options: https://www.mamanatural.com/natural-birth-control/
One misconception that is often believed is that you can get pregnant at any time. But that’s not true for women. You can only get pregnant when your body is fertile. Men are fertile all the time; however, a woman is only fertile when she is ovulating, a small few days of her cycle.
It is your job to become informed about your cycle, and I am challenging you to do it today! This book was a wonderful resource for me that I encourage you to start your journey with:
Taking Charge Of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler
Don’t forget to Pin this for later!
What Is Natural Family Planning?
Natural Family Planning is often seen as something that resides only within the Catholic faith because that is where it originated. I am not Catholic, but I am a Christian and I love participating in NFP.
Even though we are not Catholic, my husband and I went to our local Archdiocese for a class all about NFP and the different tracking methods to get a better understanding of it and everyone was extremely welcoming.
Do not hesitate to Google the next class in your area and attend, whether you are single, dating or engaged! There is so much information that is extremely helpful in tracking your cycle and teaching you how to prevent pregnancy without birth control.
NFP is tracking the woman’s cycle to identify the most fertile days in her cycle and abstaining from sex during those days to prevent pregnancy. I’m going to keep it in very simple terms.
We’ll use Susie as an example: Susie has a standard 28-day cycle. The first day of her cycle is the first day of her period, so between each period it is 28 days. Ovulation usually occurs in the middle of the cycle, so for Susie, this is day 14. Sperm can live up to 5 days inside a woman’s body. Susie will have to abstain from sex days 9 through 19 in order to guarantee that she does not become pregnant.
Because your cycle can fluctuate slightly, it is important to track your cycle accurately with one of the NFP methods. My cycle some months could be 25 days at its shortest or 30 days at its longest. This causes the day of ovulation to move. However, to be safe my husband and I abstain from days 8 through18 of my cycle, so the 5 fertile days are always during that time, no matter how short or long my cycle is.
There are several methods you can use to track your cycle and most include time and effort or learning the tracking technique and the proper way to record the data so that it is accurate and you can abstain on the correct days.
You can read about all the different methods here: http://nfpandmore.org/
And grab a copy of the book here: Natural Family Planning
I started off using the Sympto-Thermal method, but after some time stopped. It takes a lot of diligence to do and my active lifestyle made it hard to remain consistent. This is the thermometer I used for months to track my temperature every morning: Digital Basal Body Thermometer
I now track my cycle with the Ava bracelet, and it tells me which days I am fertile. I highly recommend it for everyone, especially if you want to start tracking your cycle accurately!
The first step you need to take is to start having a normal cycle again. If you are on the pill or any other form of birth control, I encourage you to stop. Allow your body up to 6 months to get back into its normal hormonal rhythm.
Start tracking your cycle and researching the different options.
What Does My Husband Think of Natural Family Planning And How To Prevent Pregnancy?
I often hear that people will avoid NFP because they worry about the man’s point of view. Asking them to not have sex for 10 days in a row seems like pure torture right?
Well, I asked my husband for his perspective on it and to speak about it from a man’s point of view. He gave me the 5 pros and 5 cons below…
The Pro’s Of Preventing Pregnancy Without Birth Control
- It lifts the expectation.
I came from an injured sexual life in my past so the time off every month is very helpful for me to take baby steps towards true sexual freedom. It allows me to not be overwhelmed with a feeling of expectation.
- It aligns with my lifestyle.
I am thankful that it is truly all-natural and therefore aligns well with my overall lifestyle, It is detailed but also simplistic, not requiring pills or frequent doctor visits or even lots of unknowns. It is natural and simple.
- It aligns with my Biblical view.
I have a biblical view for having kids and it aligns with how I view preventing pregnancy. We do not use any protection, pills, or anything unnatural. We only use a natural essential oil lube. This allows us to remain in the passenger seat of God’s greater plan for us. The chances of having kids if you do not compromise are slim to none. Every time we have sex we are submitting to God saying “We are leaving it at your feet Lord if you would like to bless us with a child or not.”
- I know my wife extremely well.
I learn my wife better as a result. I know her cycle, her tendencies, and her hardships. It allows for conversation and for us to be more communicative as a result.
- It teaches patience and self-control.
It teaches you during the season of abstaining to be patient, have self-control, and be disciplined. But it allows you to appreciate the times when you can have sex. Sex can be taken for granted all too often, but I have found so much joy and adventure in the changes and cycles of NFP.
The Con’s (Warnings For Men) Of Preventing Pregnancy Without Birth Control
- Don’t do it if you don’t care.
There is a system and it works. Stick to the system. It will require you to be intentional and put in some hard work but it is completely worth it.
- Do your research as a guy.
Be educated and ask questions. Be bold and make the decision to do it as a team. Be a leader in the area.
- There will be hard seasons.
Sometimes it gets hard waiting, so find other ways to enjoy each other. Be creative and satisfy your wife in a way that best meets her needs. It takes sacrifice.
- Seek Christ first, not sex.
God’s ways are far above our own. We are on this earth to ultimately serve Him and bring Him glory. So, do it.
- Be engaged.
Ask your wife questions. Be engaged, supportive, and loving. Don’t make her feel as if she is the bad guy or all alone in this. Be intentional with her. Learn her, lead her, and love her as Christ would.
What’s the Difference Between Fertility Awareness Method and Natural Family Planning?
It simply boils down to using condoms/protection or not during the period of abstinence.
We decided, and my husband leads in this decision, to not use condoms in our periods of abstaining each month. We felt convicted that it Biblically aligns more with allowing God to trust and lead.
Condoms also take away a lot of feelings. We didn’t want a barrier to separate us from being one within the marriage covenant. Our marriage is not meant to have barriers and God designed us to become one with each other in the most intimate way.
Plus, the waiting grows us in so many spiritual disciplines: patience, diligence, self-control, hard work, etc.
The Best Reason To Prevent Pregnancy Without Birth Control
The best reason to prevent pregnancy without birth control is that natural prevention has no side effects. My body gets to work in its best format and has zero side effects.
In fact, it works with my body. And, when do want to become pregnant, all I do is have sex on my fertile days with my husband. It’s that simple.
It’s also completely free, I can do it whenever, wherever, and it allows my husband and I to grow closer together in the process.
Here are some more resources to be sure to check out to get even a deeper look:
https://equippinggodlywomen.com/marriage/five-reasons-i-wont-take-hormonal-birth-control/
This blog post helped me make the decision to do natural family planning.
http://www.nowonefoot.com/guest-post-three-ways-nfp-blessed-life/
This blog does a fantastic job of showing you how amazing NFP is at helping you.
I read all of these books when I was researching NFP and Fertility Awareness Method and I recommend each one of them:
The Art Of Natural Family Planning by John Kippley
Natural Birth Control Made Simple by Barbara Kass-Annese
Natural Family Planning: A Catholic Approach by Mary Barron
Have you tried NFP or worked to prevent pregnancy without birth control? Let me know in the comments below!
Kelsey at GoodPointGrandma
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To be clear – birth control doesn’t prevent your body from “creating an egg.” You are born with as many eggs as you will ever have. It prevents release of said egg from the ovaries – essentially putting your ovaries on vacation. Just so know you!
Thanks for catching that Tara, you are right!
Great resources! I know many who use this method as well and it works for them. I certainly learned more about my cycle when we trying for our second baby and I went off of the pill. I will think about whether or not I want to go back on the pill between a second and third.
I’m so glad Kelsie! Learning about your cycle is so helpful, I know I have loved understanding it better and better.
This is interesting never heard of this method of conception. I grew up with the pill as well and I do agree it makes things worse.
I am so glad I am introducing it to you! I hope more and more people begin to know about it!
Just gonna leave some thoughts here – Using a condom doesn’t make you and your husband any less “one”. It is not a barrier in marriage. The fact is that God doesn’t address all of these “specifics” and although this is your personal preference, you can’t biblically make an argument for it. The intimacy of sex does not change regardless of whether you use condoms or not. If that were so, by using the same logic, then one could say having sex with condoms before marriage is justified.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Tay! You are correct, God does not address the specifics and there is still intimacy within sex with or without a condom; however, there is research regarding the “fluid bonding” or “chemical bonding” that occurs when a condom is not present, and that is what I was making a reference to. Everyone has different convictions when it comes to the subject and neither is right or wrong according to Scripture, this is just what works best for us and where our conviction lies.
Completely agree with your comments on the pill – I went on it for a little while and experienced definite mood swings and random bouts of anxiety. Not worth it in my opinion! However, in the interest of full transparency for young women who are reading this and have no previous experience having sex, I think some of the phrases in this post should be worded as more of a preference rather than a definitive statement. For example, the phrase “Condoms also take away a lot of feelings” – whether meant in a physical sense or an emotional sense –… Read more »
Wow, thank you for the thoughtful response Amber! I completely agree with much of what you said about the Biblical perspective of birth control. Your second point about there being no clear indication in Scripture to one way or the other is true but it is unwise to crop passages and verses in order to argue for one way or another. Ultimately, God is on the throne and He is leading in all areas. For my husband and I, NFP is the form of pregnancy prevention or “birth control” that aligns most with our Biblical perspective, more than the other… Read more »
This is so helpful! I never knew about the Ava bracelets and would definitely consider one!
I love mine!!
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