If you’re struggling, wondering how to improve your 20s and how to overcome a quarter-life crisis then keep reading. My story may give you a glimpse into how so many of us post-college face a new term: quarter-life crisis, and provide you with some keys to walk away from this post feeling more confident.
After I graduated from college, I just started feeling anxious all the time. I didn’t tell anyone and I just wanted to get through it myself.
Even though I knew why I was feeling this, it wasn’t enough to help me move past it. I was feeling anxious all the time because I didn’t know the next steps to take. Why couldn’t someone just tell me what the rest of my life was supposed to look like?
All our lives we are told what to do next. At least I was. It was, get through high school so you can go to college. Get through college so you can get a high-paying job. But now that I was post-college there were so many options.
Where would I live? Who would I meet? What career should I pursue? How should I handle my free time? How can I be wise with all this responsibility I have?
Everyone else seemed to have figured out the tough road of adulting, so I was sure I could too. Yet I was always anxious.
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I wish someone had been there to tell me how to overcome a quarter-life crisis. Adulting was so hard, and I wanted a playbook given me to me, showing me each step to take along the way. Instead, I got everyone’s opinion on the Internet. Some wise, but most just poor information.
Related Post: 12 Steps You Need To Take After You Graduate College
Even though our digital age has options and advice flying everywhere, it’s even harder to find what you are looking for from the people you are looking for. You don’t know who to trust and if their advice is wise.
Adulting is a whole lot of figuring it all out and that’s not fun. That’s why I started this blog, to give wise advice like a grandma and help others face adulthood with confidence so that they can live a more successful life.
No more anxiety after college. I hate it and don’t want anyone else to experience that. That’s why I share practical tips, your adulting playbook if you will, on my blog all the time.
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When we set up the right habits in our 20s, when we figure out the goals and hopes and dreams we have for our lives in our 20s, then we can lay the foundation for a successful life. But adulting has to start in our 20s.
Recently I read Meg Jay’s “The Defining Decade” (see full review here) and then watched her Ted Talk. It was so inspiring and a lot of what I write in this post is similar to the message she gave with my own twist.
Meg talks about how transforming your 20s could, in fact, be the best thing you could ever do. Most of life’s defining moments happen before age 35.
There has been research done that says your 20s are really the first 10 years of your adult life. Most people will have their future partner by 30 and your second growth spurt happens in your 20s.
Our personality changes the most during our 20s and fertility peaks at age 28.
How do you overcome a quarter-life crisis? You educate yourself and take your 20s seriously. Your everyday life can be defined in your 20s to set up the rest of your life for success.
We don’t have 10 extra years to start our lives. Smart 20-somethings need to start making their 20s worthwhile.
You don’t want to be “just fine” by 30. You want to “be better than I could ever be” before 30. Do not make the mistake of blowing off your 20s.
You’re just putting the pressure on yourself when you hit 30. It is harder to make your 30’s successful when you are just waiting around in your 20s.
Related Post: My Honest Review of “The Defining Decade” by Meg Jay
We face an identity crisis in our 20s and it turns into a quarter-life crisis because don’t treat it like a defining decade. Let’s begin by taking out 20s seriously and seeing how we can tangibly do that so anxiety and depression are gone for good.
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Take Action Is How To Overcome A Quarter Life Crisis
The worst thing you can do is do nothing at all. And this goes for a lot of things in your life.
For instance, you just received your first paycheck after college and it’s the biggest paycheck you have ever received. It’s not a lot of money but it’s the first time you are earning a couple thousand a month.
You take that money and you go to the casino or bar, or wherever, (for me it would be the bookstore or flower shop lol) and you blow the whole thing. You didn’t take intentional action.
Without action, nothing happens. In fact, often the negative effect can happen like this example.
Related Post: How To Manager Your First Real Paycheck After College
So if you just graduated college and you haven’t been proactive about some things, then I’m the person whispering in your ear to get off the couch and start. Start today.
A great place to start is your career. What steps can you take today to improve your resume? I love this article by Classy Career Girl to get started.
What steps can you take to embrace your hobbies and maybe turn them into a side hustle? That’s why I started an online business, to pursue what I love.
Maybe just trying something new is a better option for you. Whatever it is, start taking steps toward a career. Don’t just wait around.
Now after college, I was taking all the steps and doing all the things to advance my career but I still felt anxious. And that was because I didn’t know what my passion was.
That was holding me back, and now I realize how paralyzing that was. Most of us will never know our true calling in this world. Our vocation may just be to raise children in the way they should go (see Proverbs 4: )
As a Christian, I know God has placed each of us on this earth for a specific reason. I was trying to find out my vocation and calling at age 21. Except, the problem was God wasn’t showing it to me at 21. He was just telling me to take steps forward in faith.
Don’t believe the lie that you need to know your passion to start. You need to know that you probably won’t find your passion in your 20’s.
It is important to be self-aware of your strengths and use those as you move forward, but don’t get hung up and what your passion is before you take any action.
How to overcome a quarter-life crisis: take steps today toward something. Don’t sit still and don’t worry about what your passion or vocation might be. That will come later.
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Be Common Is How To Overcome A Quarter Life Crisis
I see way too many people striving for fame these days. Social media ads and influencers tell us they did it overnight and we think we can too.
How to overcome a quarter-life crisis starts in your head, and that means you take reality at its best and tune out those who tell you the opposite. You pursue common things.
Let me explain. It was after college that I started to pursue my passions for essential oils and my blog, and it was fun for me to do the hobbies I love in my free time outside of work.
But then I would read a blog post about a blogger, who was also working a cubicle job and started blogging, and bam, three months later were making a full-time income from their blog. They quit their job and were now living the life they always wanted, traveling the world.
I was almost a year into my blog and still no hope for me doing that, only make cents so far. It was so discouraging. But, the real picture behind that blogger is they already had the experience, they already knew what they were doing, or they had more help than I had.
Either way, common is hard work.
Hard work truly begins when you begin adulting. It takes so much time and energy to figure out how you are going to set up the rest of your life for success in your 20s. It is not a get-rich-quick game.
The defining decade of your 20s is when you get the chance to form the right habits and create the life you want to live and that only happens with a lot of hard work.
I’ll put this point in a money example as well. Do you know how most Americans can become millionaires? By being common.
Millionaires in America use their employer’s 401(k) to continually invest in, each paycheck and watch the money grow. They live frugally, below their means, and they and content.
Becoming a millionaire is possible for everyone in America. How? By being common. By not chasing the next big thing. With being content with what they have. By valuing time and relationships, not luxury items or trips they can’t afford.
Related Post: My Honest Review of “Love Your Life Not Thiers”
If you continually invest from age 23-65 you could almost certainly become a millionaire due to compound interest. Yet, why do so many people not do this? They want to become rich now. Patience is no longer a virtue.
It’s not sexy but a common life is almost certainly a more joyful life.
I’m not saying don’t pursue your hopes and dreams, and you can certainly live against the norm in many ways (I certainly do in my faith) but live to pursue the right things, and a lot of that is common things.
How to overcome a quarter-life crisis is by living a common life, making common decisions, and by working extremely hard. Don’t believe the get-rich-quick schemes all over the place today and don’t focus on the material things above relationships.
And speaking of relationships…
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Pick Relationships – How To Overcome A Quarter Life Crisis
Support. That is key to overcoming any sort of crisis. If you read my story at the beginning of this post then you know that I shut everyone away when I was feeling anxious all the time after college.
I had no direction and I felt like I shouldn’t ask anyone for it. I would try to come up with my own answers but it didn’t work. I know it would not have lasted quite as long.
After reading Scary Close by Donald Miller recently, I was reminded of the importance of vulnerability and intimacy in relationships. Although it can be the scariest thing you might ever have to do, the effects of it are life-changing.
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The relationships you form in your 20s will often be the relationships that last throughout the rest of your life. They are the ones that stick with you for the longest.
That is why it is so important to form healthy relationships in your 20’s. It wasn’t until my 20s and when I was adulting that I realized I needed to find the relationships I wanted to last, cultivate those, and then heal any broken ones from the past.
When you have people in your life that will go through thick and thin with you, that will impact you in huge ways telling you the truth and wisdom, and who will have your back no matter what, then you have people that are lifelong friends.
That is how you overcome a quarter-life crisis, by forming relationships during the defining decade of your 20s.
Take these three points and begin applying them to your life. They are tips on how to overcome a quarter-life crisis and will be a guiding list to help you navigate adulting.
I pray that you will be defined by a healthy, happy, and most importantly, fulfilling decade in your 20s.
Have you experienced a quarter-life crisis recently? Do you feel like you are in one right now? Let me know if the comments below!
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Kelsey at GoodPointGrandma
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I went through the same thing – mine happened at 26! These are all great tips for getting back on track and finding your way. Best of luck with your journey!
Thanks so much, Beth! I’m glad that none of us are in this alone!
Wow, earning a couple thousand a month would be nice! I don’t even earn ONE per month! But I’ve learnt to let my worries about the future not affect me as much. I have a lot of goals I am aiming to achieve, but since getting multiple health issues those goals have been pushed back, and there’s nothing I can do about it. Having a supportive and encouraging team of people around you is also essential when you’re going through any rough part of life. I’m super lucky to have a partner who is with me every step of the… Read more »
Indya, you can totally do it!! I’m sorry about the health issues but am so glad you’re supported well and still chasing those goals(:
“I was trying to find out my vocation and calling at age 21. Except, the problem was God wasn’t showing it to me at 21. He was just telling me to take steps forward in faith.” – That hit me hard because I relate 100%!! I followed God’s call to attend a Christian University and honestly, I left feeling like I had no idea what I was supposed to do. It’s a long story, haha but I’m a full-time blogger now and I know that it’s because God has blessed it and wants me to be doing this for now.… Read more »
Thank you so much, Summer!! It’s so exciting to hear how God has worked in others lives! I can’t wait till I’m a full-time blogger one day and pursuing what I love(: thanks so much for the encouragement and sharing your story!
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