The Ultimate Guide To #Adulting
Because #ADULTING.
Do you feel in the dark? I know I did after I graduated college! Here's everything you need to know to start your SUCCESSFUL adult life!
I’m sitting in my apartment reflecting on the last year of my life – life after college. I walked across that stage exactly one year ago, moved into an apartment, and was freakin excited because this had been the moment I had been waiting for, it had been everything I had worked so hard at for years.
One year post-college graduation has been wonderful but it has been a year of learning so many new things because #adulting is hard. I had highs and I had lows and each of those moments taught me a valuable lesson I will never forget.
I learned 7 things that I hope will help you navigate this life after college.
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1. Independence is something to embrace, not flee.
I thought I was independent in college. It was the first time I wasn’t living at home, under my parent’s watchful eye every minute. I had my own life away from home in another state and I loved it. I had my own small jobs to bring in some money and I had my own car for the first time…woot-woot!
However, it wasn’t until I graduated that I realized what true independence looked like. Being a college graduate meant getting a big-girl job and a lot more bills than I ever knew existed. I had to learn how to thrive in the corporate world and I had to worry about things like oil changes and renters insurance and how to change my flat tire.
In college I still had my parents to lean on. I could turn to them about everything and they were still helping me pay my college bill. I wasn’t fully independent of them because they were still supporting me in so many ways.
Graduating meant learning everything on my own that comes with adulting. And while it was challenging at times, and still is challenging, it taught me to be independent.
It can be scary stepping out of a parent’s protection 100% but it makes you a stronger person.
Being independent means being self-reliant. Self-reliance teaches you skills like discipline, consistency, and responsibility. All skills are necessary to have a fulfilling and enjoyable life.
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The more responsibility you take on the sooner you can, and the more you will be able to understand this world and enjoy life to the fullest. Things like paying rent, paying for your own groceries, and maintaining a budget are all things that are necessary for you to do at some point in life. Do it now and learn now.
Being completely separate from my parents has been one of the best things for my personal development.
Responsibility is the key to independence because it allows you to do more and be more of who God created you to be.
Being on my own, making my own decisions, choosing how I use my own time, deciding how I spend my paycheck, and accepting the job I wanted all grew as a person.
You deciding things for yourself for the first time in your life defines who you are. Being independent has given me the ability to be who I want to be.
Need more advice? Check out my favorite book on Adulting here.
2. You don’t need a significant other to be satisfied/equal/happy/worthy etc.
I graduated college from a small Christian school, and by small I mean only 800 undergraduate students. A small school means everyone knows everyone and everything about everyone. It also means that everyone gets engaged in their senior year and married the following summer it seems.
“Ring by Spring” is not a joke. Christian young adults get married fast and nine out of ten are married by the time they are 24 I swear.
I was not one of these people. I did not have a boyfriend when I graduated college and I was the farthest thing from getting engaged.
The hardest part was not embracing my singleness overall. I loved being single and enjoyed the freedom that came with it.
The hardest part was embracing my singleness at specific times. Between the five weddings, I had each year to the engagement parties and events where I was without a plus one, my heart sunk a little bit in those moments.
Those times took constant reminders that I am not the only single girl out there at age 22. In fact, outside of the Christian bubble, most 22 single girls are not married. However, within my friend circles, I was in the minority.
The perks of singleness are amazing, and reminding myself of those times was such an important part of my life one year after graduation.
If you are also single one year out, remind yourself that God has given you an amazing chance to do whatever you want at this stage of your life. He has given you a lot more time that you can use to get to know Him, embrace your talents and passions, and do something you’ve always wanted to do. There is nothing holding you down.
The time I have to create this blog is because I don’t have to spend that time with a boyfriend.
Use these years to thrive on being just you with no one else always calling for your attention and time.
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3. It takes time to learn how the real world works in life after college.
I thought there wasn’t a lot to learn about the real world after college because I had lots of different jobs and internships but I was mistaken.
After college, you learn the smallest things like how to set up a wifi router to large things like how to set up a budget. I felt so stupid after college multiple tips because I didn’t know how to do some of the simplest things I didn’t even realize I needed to know.
But the thing is I’m still learning. Just the other day I realized I had no idea how to install and hang a curtain rod. At first, I felt a little dumb for asking for help but realized that there is a first time for everything.
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It has been a year of firsts and the firsts keep coming. Even learning to step outside of the Christian bubble and how to interact with others has been a learning experience. And learning what a business professional wardrobe actually looks like.
The real world is very different than college and it will be a learning curve the first year out, so learn to embrace it and love it even if it isn’t as fun or enjoyable as in college.
You have to make your new life enjoyable by making the decision each day.
4. Finding your passion in life after college can seem extremely difficult but it’s not.
My parents keep telling me to go to grad school for my MBA. But I’m burnt out from school and have zero desire to go back right now.
You don’t have to go to more schooling after college if you don’t want to.
You can finally do whatever you want. At least that’s how I felt.
A friend introduced me to essential oils and I fell in love with them! I began selling them and have been loving it.
Then I saw someone blogging and decided to try that and fell in love with the process.
After college is the chance for you to try anything and do anything you want to do. It’s an amazing feeling.
But for several months I just got stuck. All winter long I was trying to analyze my passions and what I wanted to do with my life.
Instead of analyzing I wish I just did it. I wish I just tried everything and found out by doing. I found out I loved essential oils and blogging because I decided to take a risk and just try it.
I wasted so much time trying to be all zen and figure out who I really am and what skills I really have and how I can use my personality to find the best job with the best pay rate.
I realized what I love by just doing things. I tried to analyze what to create my blog around when instead I just needed to start writing.
When I began writing is when I realized what I like to talk about – healthy lifestyles, Christian values, and money or business tips.
If you don’t know what the heck you want to do with your life after graduation just start trying things. Do all the things, that’s how you can find what you like and don’t like. Zen retreats and personality tests are not required after college and are not suggested.
Need more advice? Check out my favorite book on Adulting here.
5. Your twenties will probably feel lonelier than before.
Everyone always looks like they are having more fun than you. They are going on amazing vacations, have so many friends, and are living their best life. At least that’s what their Instagram says.
I promise, most people are living the same life as you in their twenties. They are going to their eight-hour job and come home and do some meal prepping, clean, watch TV, and try to find time to throw a workout and social life in.
I still compare myself to others my age all the time and think how is their life so much more exciting than mine? I wake up, sit in the cubicle, go home, get some chores done, go to bed, and repeat.
My life sucks compared to those other amazing things I see people doing.
But that’s the key right there, to stop. freakin. comparing my life. Preaching to the choir here.
Just know that most people are in the exact same place as you. Do not be discouraged. And maybe take a break from social media every couple of weeks.
6. Accept that life after college will never be exactly like college again.
College was so hard but so fun.
Living with friends and doing the craziest stuff ever was amazing but now I have to accept that it’s over.
Everyone always says college goes so fast and it doesn’t seem like it at the moment but looking back a year later it is so true.
You now have responsibilities and maybe soon you’ll be married and have a family.
A new season of life is upon you. It may take some time to process this new season, to come to accept it and enjoy it. It wasn’t until a conference at my church that I began to really embrace the season of life that I was in. I learned to trust God in the season.
After college, I still had an apartment with friends but it wasn’t like college. We still had jobs we had to go to every day and couldn’t be as spontaneous as in college.
It won’t be college again but I can enjoy the life I have now.
After you graduate college you will need to accept that life will change and be different but that doesn’t mean you still can’t enjoy it.
God put you in this season and if it’s harder than the last know that He is there with you through it all.
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7. You have to decide to make your faith a priority.
I had gone to a Christian school for most of my life. I was in the Christian bubble still all throughout college. When I graduated college was the first time I wasn’t learning about my faith on a daily basis.
I no longer had chapel and Bible classes to attend. I wasn’t regularly invited to bible studies and had surrounded by people with the same beliefs as me.
It was the first time in my life that I had to decide to make my faith a priority.
I had to decide to regularly attend church on Sundays. I had to decide to serve at church, join a small group, and do my daily devotions. I had to decide to listen to Christian music, read books about my faith, and find a community that believed in the same thing as me.
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You may have hit this point in your life sooner than I did, but often graduates from Christian schools step away from their faith because it is no longer the center of everything.
It is only a priority when you make it one.
Making your faith your own and taking the steps to live out your faith is probably the best thing you can do in this year after graduation.
You were placed on this earth for a purpose and a plan. There is a Creator who made you. He wants you to see why He created you and embrace the life He has for you.
A relationship with Jesus is the best thing you can strive for after graduation because it is the only thing that will matter in the end. It requires time and work but it is a lasting friendship that remains through anything.
It’s a daily decision that is completely worth it.
And there you have it. What my life looked like one year after I graduated from college.
I hope these 7 things I wish I had known about life after graduating from college encourage you, help you be more prepared, and make you ready to embrace the future.
Let’s go kill this thing called adulting and enjoy life after college graduation!
Kelsey at GoodPointGrandma
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Oh boy do I miss college, haha. It definitely helps prepare you to be on your own but totally agree that it’s SO different post-graduation. I’m almost a decade out of college and still feel like I’m learning how to navigate things!
You make a good point Rachel! We are always learning (:
I love this. This will be a great resource for those who really struggle in that transition. Luckily for me, I was married and commuting my last semester so I already felt transitioned before I was “done”. Thank you for sharing this wisdom and insight because so many people feel this – especially the part about independence and the shock of what it really looks like when you graduate.
I’m so glad you like it, Courtney! Yes, independence can hit you hard. Feel free to pass it on as a helpful resource to anyone else you may know in this season of life!
very on point reflections! People don’t realize how good/easy life is in college sometimes haha
haha yes, I wish I had been warned (;
I loved the Christian college I went to! However, I can so relate to my bubble being popped. Also, it seemed like EVERYONE was there to get married. I was so focused on this that I missed out on being me. As soon as I let go of finding Mr. Right, he just showed up. College is wonderful but life after college can be so good, too!
Oh, that’s so great to hear Lindsey! It really is such a learning curve, but we can find joy in every learning curve!
This is such a great article- passing it on! Thanks
Thanks Michelle!