My husband and I have been married for nearly two years now and we’ve received lots of the typical Christian advice for newlywed couples.
While the advice is wonderful, it’s only practical when you take the time to apply it to your life. The Christian advice for newlywed couples that I’m about to share is all practical advice that we put into practice every single day!
In fact, when I look back at these first few years of marriage, I am so thankful we formed these habits from the beginning. They truly have made all the difference in having a wonderful marriage.
I still consider us newlyweds because we are far from perfect! We are still learning and growing. But, if anyone were to come and ask me what advice I had for them before they got married, this would be it! (And also, read these books linked here!)
I pray that these tips would encourage you as you either prepare for marriage or start your marriage journey as husband and wife! I know they helped us immensely, which you can read about in our love story here.
Let’s check it out…
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Say Sorry First
I’m extremely stubborn. My husband quickly found this out when we got married. It’s not easy for me to give in and I’ll stick my ground too often, and it’s unhealthy.
This especially pops up when we have a disagreement or I become upset over something. I shut down, walk away, and quite literally close up.
I hate to admit it but I am pretty sure our first year of marriage I never said sorry first.
Thankfully, my husband was putting some of the Christian advice for newlywed couples that we received into practice. He would always apologize first, even if he wasn’t even the one at fault. It’s one of my favorite quality traits about him!
He’s shown me the importance of saying sorry and moving on.
It’s so easy for me to harbor resentment. My husband has been a wonderful example to me of what it looks like to offer true forgiveness.
He never brings something up again after it has been forgiven. He leaves it in the past and has taught me to do the same.
In marriage, not asking for forgiveness immediately after emotions have cooled will lead to resentment. Resentment can grow and grow and before you know it, you are keeping score.
There is no scorecard in marriage – you are a team!
Say sorry and ask forgiveness as soon as you can. Once the sin is forgiven, forget about it and never bring it up again! It will keep your marriage healthy and thriving!
“…forgiving each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” Colossians 3:13
Related Post: Why We Waited To Kiss and Have Sex Till Marriage
Don’t Go To Bed Angry
Make sure that there is no conflict between you both before you go to sleep at night. This is yet another quality trait of my husband that I am so thankful for.
My husband will not let us go to sleep until every conflict of interest between us is resolved. And, if a resolution cannot be found, we work together to find a common ground until it can be resolved in the future.
We never go to bed angry with each other and I know that it has strengthened our marriage.
There have been several times when I am upset, my stubbornness kicks in, and I roll over in bed and ignore my husband, trying to go to sleep angry. I hate to admit it.
But my husband remains patient. He offers forgiveness and solutions. We take the time to resolve the issue, no matter how big or small because we know that if we don’t it will only fester and grow.
Ephesians 4:26-27 says, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger and give no opportunity to the devil.”
Satan wants you to grow hatred toward your husband. He wants to destroy your union because he knows how powerful you are together.
Commit to each other that you will never go to bed angry at one another, no matter what.
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Respect Each Other’s Roles
God designed men and women differently. Some of the best Christian advice for newlywed couples we received was when we were in premarital counseling when our pastor reminded us of the different roles men and women take in marriage.
God gave women the innate desire to nurture and care for the home. On the other hand, God designed men to provide for and protect their families. With each role comes different responsibilities.
Some may come naturally for you, while others may be more of a learned task. When we got married and started living together, I naturally took over the budget, the laundry, and the cleaning. Landon naturally became the spiritual leader, the breadwinner, and Mr. Fix-it.
As husband and wife, we are created equal! And in marriage, we have become one unit. But, with our different roles, we have to respect each other.
It’s like your boss at work. You are equal people but because of the different roles you assume, there is different respect.
For example, I operate the budget in our family. It’s my role because I am more detail-oriented and enjoy it. Landon respects that I have that role and only spends money where I say we can afford it. He doesn’t choose to do whatever he wants with our money because it’s not just his, but ours. Our joint bank account shows that, but our attitude is where it is reflected!
Because I know that we complement each other, I won’t complain about my role. I never accuse Landon, my husband, of doing less than me. Just as Ephesians 5 reminds us, husbands and wives are to love one another but the husband is the head of the household and the wife is to respect him and submit to his leadership.
For more on the topic of love and respect, I highly recommend this book to all newlywed couples!
Related Post: The 7 Best Christian Books You Need To Read Before Marriage
Read The Bible And Pray Together
One of the best habits you can begin forming is to keep God at the center of your marriage by approaching Him together.
Check out these blog posts on our morning routine and evening routine. We make sure that we come together in the morning and evening before God. It is the number one priority in our lives, and it aligns our hearts to approach each day as Jesus would.
Our night routine is especially my favorite! We are currently reading this book together every night as well and I can feel our marriage getting stronger already.
Know Each Other’s Love Languages
How you love one another boils down to showing love to your spouse the way that they feel loved, which is not necessarily the same way that you feel loved.
For example, my top love language is words of affirmation. I feel loved when my husband encourages me, compliments me, and communicates with me. But, my husband doesn’t feel loved the same way. His top love language is quality time. So instead of telling him how amazing he is, I instead will go fishing with him.
Learning to love each other based on the other person’s love language is some of the best Christian advice for newlywed couples!
I suggest reading The 5 Love Languages book together. A page or two before bed each night will open up discussion and help you discover how to love each other better.
Be Best Friends
Lastly, my husband is my best friend. Hands-down. No questions asked.
He is the person that I spend the most time with and the one that I turn to with all my thoughts, feeling, and questions. When I want to try something new, go on a fun adventure, or just sit and watch TV, it is him that I do it with!
If you spend more time with other friends or even put more focus on children than your spouse, you are missing out on forming a best-friend relationship. Even parents, if there are no established boundaries, can come between the friendship you have with your spouse.
You should enjoy spending time together. To help become better friends, never stop dating your spouse! Have a weekly date night. Try new things together. Leave the kids with a babysitter and have fun!
There you have it, the Christian advice for newlywed couples that we received that was both genuine and so practical to our marriage!
Let me know in the comments below, what is the best advice you received as a newlywed?
Kelsey at GoodPointGrandma
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I completely understand everything you said about saying sorry first. I’m stubborn sometimes, and it’s something I really have to work on!
I feel ya girl!
In September I will have been married for 10 years and I feel our relationship is 10x stronger than when we got married (and I thought we were pretty good then too lol!). Honestly one of the best things we’ve learned is being willing to explore our differences. We both react to situations in different ways. In the beginning he might get frustrated at me for getting upset at something that he thought wasn’t a big deal… but through the years we’ve learned so much about each other and we have almost no conflict now because we can respect that… Read more »
I love this!! Differences are so great but we have to learn how to work them and be flexible like you said!