As a brand new wife, I felt the pressure to be the best wife I could be for my husband. I desired to serve him, honor him, and be the best helpmate I could be to him because I knew that marriage would require teamwork.
I am by no means an expert in the field of marriage, as I am still a newlywed myself. However, I have received so much practical advice on forming wise habits as soon as you get married that I couldn’t help compile all the tips. I hope these tips encourage and inspire new wives all around the globe!
Here are the 27 habits I decided to implement as a brand new wife because the habits of a new wife are the habits you will keep for years and years to come!
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Study Your Husband
Learn the things your husband likes or dislikes. For instance, I quickly learned that my husband loves to eat his eggs at breakfast with a spoon. Weird, right?! Naturally, I would grab a fork for both of us but I quickly became intentional about remembering what my husband likes and would grab a spoon instead.
Even that small action can help you start forming positive habits as a new wife.
I also know the hobbies my husband likes, but I study the new things he talks about as well. What has been piquing his interest more in this season of life? What does he enjoy now that he didn’t enjoy a year ago?
They say you become a new person every 10 years because of how much we grow and change through our experiences in life. By studying your husband and learning his likes and dislikes now, you will form a positive habit to study your husband for years and years to come.
This is one of the essential habits of a new wife.
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Initiate Intimacy
Marriage is an ongoing act of unity. Sex was made by God as an intimate moment to take place between only a husband and wife. Each time you come together as one, you are reminded of the marriage covenant you made together and become more unified as one.
It can be very hard for one person to be the only one that initiates times of intimacy.
Start forming the habit of initiating sex every once in a while. If one spouse desires sex more than the other, that is even more reason to initiate it and show that you desire your husband no matter what.
Related Post: How To Easily Prevent Pregnancy Without Birth Control
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Encourage Your Husband
We all need encouragement. There are so many hard moments in life where we feel like our efforts are in vain. Find ways to encourage your husband that will specifically lift him up in areas where you know he feels weak.
This, like the first point, is one of the habits of a new wife because it takes intentionality.
It’s not always easy for me to remember to encourage my husband. It requires me to think selflessly and really think about how I can best offer him encouragement in specific moments.
But the opposite can be true as well. Words of Affirmation are my number one love language; however, they are not my husband. So I must remind myself to sometimes show him love in other ways, not just words as words tend to come easier to me than quality time, for example.
Have you read about The 5 Love Languages? If not, be sure to check out the book here on Amazon:
I highly recommend it!
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Show Your Appreciation
This was an important habit for me to begin forming immediately when I got married because I heard from so many older and wiser women how important it is to say “Thank You!” to your husband. Our husbands need to know that we appreciate everything we do for our families, and there is no better time to start than as a brand new wife.
I made it a goal of mine to say thank you to my husband every day for at least one thing he did. Have I failed? Yes, but only a few times.
This goal came from the idea of transferring a previous goal. Before I was married, I made a vow to the Lord to save my first kiss till my wedding day. By the grace of God, I was able to do that. But with this goal gone, I wanted another one to remember my vow of my new marriage covenant daily.
If you’re as goal-oriented as me I encourage you to consider implementing this new habit immediately after you get married. You lose nothing from saying a simple thank you each day.
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Learn The Skills Of Managing A Home
Honestly, I wish this was a habit I had learned better before marriage. Managing a home takes a lot of work. From the budget to the laundry to the cleaning and organizing, it seems there is always something to do!
This is one of the habits of a new wife because it will only build for years and years to come. If you learn skills like sewing, gardening, and cleaning now then you can only get better at them! Then when you have children and a larger responsibility your skills will be fine-tuned and ready to go.
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Forgive
This was some of the best pre-marital advice we received. Forgiving one another needs to happen every single day. Sometimes it can be extremely hard to forgive, yet it is what God calls us to do.
Every single day make it a habit to say “Will you please forgive me for ____” and whenever your husband asks for your forgiveness, offer it freely saying “I forgive you.” Without forgiveness, you will build walls, resentment, and deeper hurt.
If you are finding it difficult to forgive your husband, take it to the Lord in prayer. Ask for forgiveness for even the small things and remind yourself of how often the Lord has to forgive you!
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Engage In Activities and Groups Together
Keep doing things together.
When my husband and I were dating we were always doing things together – going on runs, hiking together, playing volleyball, fishing together, playing board games, and so much more. After marriage, we were intentional to not stop doing things together.
When children come along it will be even hard to engage in these activities together, so we are forming the habit now. Participating in activities together that you both enjoy is one of the best habits of a new wife.
Don’t let marriage stop you from engaging in fun activities together. It should always be a priority.
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Shower Together
I’m just going to leave this one here 😉
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Be A Helpmate
Genesis 2:18 says, “Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” God made us as wives to be a helper to our husbands. Sometimes that can be hard to swallow.
We may want to chase our own dreams and passions, and there is definitely a place for that. However, our ultimate calling as a wife is to be on a mission together with our husbands. This means coming alongside your husband in the places where God has called him to lead, serve, and work within.
Make those positions easy for him. Keep the house clean. Stay up to date on tasks. All these things are fulfilling your role as a helpmate, while still being a unified team within the marriage covenant.
Start forming habits of being on mission work together as soon as you get married so that when you are tested to be independent, you can stay the course.
Related Post: How To Keep Your House Clean with Puppies
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Read Together
When my husband and I read a book together at night it is a fun way for us to connect. We get to both enjoy the story, experience the adventure together, and enjoy each other’s company.
I would argue that reading together is much more important than watching TV or movies together. Reading brings up discussion, knowledge, and topics that would likely never come up otherwise.
As a new wife, suggest reading a novel together before bed each night and start forming the habit today. You could also sign up for Audible here and listen to a book together as well.
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Make Money Together
This is kind of a fun and unique habit that my husband and I really enjoy. We have a financial goal that we are striving for and as a result, we want to make extra money on the side.
Finding new ways to bring in a side income has been a fun way for us to connect with each other! For example, we host guests on Airbnb and rent out a spare room to guests. We also dog sit on Rover.
We have fun making extra money together and it unites us on our goal.
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Participate In Ministry or Volunteer Together
There will be times when it will just be a women’s or men’s ministry where you can’t participate together. But, I would encourage you to seek out a ministry or volunteer opportunity that you can both do.
My husband felt led to lead a small discussion on biblical theology at our church on Sunday mornings with the book Bible Doctrine by Wayne Grudem. As a wife, and helpmate as we talked about in point 9, I participate in the study as well. It is a wonderful opportunity for us to become more unified spiritually.
There is nothing quite like serving together and putting others before yourself. It can move you and cause you to realize just how truly blessed you are.
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Write Love Letters To Each Other
This is a habit we started when we were dating and carried over into marriage. For Christmas, my husband actually made me a mailbox that sits on our nightstand.
As I said previously, Words of Affirmation are my first love language and so these letters are like candy to me. I love being able to write my thoughts on paper. While the infatuation of dating has worn off, these love letters are an amazing way for us to stay flirty, share our love, and keep things romantic even in the mundane of everyday life.
Writing love letters to each other should definitely be one of the habits of a new wife.
Related Post: Our Love Story
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Read Scripture Together
In the mornings, my husband and I each spend time alone with God, reading our Bible and meditating on His word. But afterward, we will come together and say, “What did you read? What impacted you?” This has brought up countless spiritual discussions and times of uniting in our faith.
Reading and discussing the Bible together helps us grow in our walks with the Lord. We are able to hold each other accountable with grace, truth, and love.
This is definitely a habit I want to continue for years and years to come!
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Treat Your Husband With Respect
You respected him while you were dating and now continue to respect him in marriage.
What does that look like practically? Not talking over him, listening to his advice, heeding his words, serving him, allowing him to lead and so much more. One of my favorite books to read during pre-marital counseling was Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs.
Check it out on Amazon here!
In fact, I share more about it in this blog post here: The 7 Best Christian Books You Need To Read Before Marriage
It’s one of the most practical habits of a new wife because as much as you need love from your husband, he needs respect from you. Start building the foundation for a strong marriage today with respect!
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Submit To His Leadership
Submission can be a scary word for most women. In today’s culture, everyone seems to be for women’s empowerment. According to culture, submitting to a man shows your weakness.
However, to God, submitting to your husband’s authority is obedience and follows His natural design. Colossians 3:18 says “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”
Submission, as crazy as it may seem, actually shows your strength as a woman. It shows your ability to be selfless, mature, and understanding. Going against your fleshly desire is not easy. When we submit as wives, we show that we are strong enough to choose the right thing.
If you struggle with this concept of submission, I recommend this article for a quick overview of the right perspective: Six Things Submission Is Not
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Ask His Opinion On All Decisions
This was a hard concept for me for a few months after marriage. I was so used to being independent and doing whatever I wanted. I had to re-wire my mind to realize that I was part of a team now, and as a team we make decisions together.
It is one of the habits of a new wife because if you don’t start implementing it now, it could have huge consequences in the future. Practice asking your husband’s opinion on everything. What’s yours is his and what’s his yours. It’s important to remember that you are unified as one under Christ and therefore, you make decisions together.
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Encourage Him To Spend Time With Friends
I talked in point seven about doing things together. I would also encourage you to allow your husband time with his friends as well. Don’t hold him back from having quality guy time.
Practice encouraging him to go out and hang with his friends but remember to keep your marriage a priority first.
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Greet Him At The Door and Give Him Space To Unwind
It is a great habit to start always greeting your husband when he comes home from work. For us, we’ve had to practice the opposite because my husband works from home and I work at a corporate job.
Always greet each other after a long and provide each other the space needed to relax and unwind when needed.
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Pray For Him
Before we got married I read the book The Power of A Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian and I journaled a prayer for my husband each day for an entire month. It was an incredible asset to me, and I would encourage you to pick up a copy for yourself.
Ultimately, God is the one that works in your husband’s heart. It is our job to pray for our husbands. Pray is one of the most effective habits of a new wife. And prayer will be a valuable resource to you not just now, but for years and years to come.
I have to continually remind myself to pray for my husband. It takes intentionality but it so worth it.
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Brag About Him
I respect my husband and love him so deeply I can’t help but brag about him! This is marriage advice I started implementing immediately and I have never regretted it. It will lift your husband up when you brag about him in front of others.
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Love Him Through His Love Languages
If you haven’t read the 5 Love Languages book yet, grab a copy today! It will change your marriage in amazing ways.
Often we try to express love, but when we don’t express it in the way our spouse best receives love then it won’t make a significant impact. Find out what your husband’s love language is and then be intentional about showing him love in that way.
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Date Your Husband
While it is always nice when our man initiates going on a date with us, it is one of the best habits of a new wife to also initiate dating your spouse.
It says, “Hey, I still like and I really want to spend time with you!” Continue dating each other. Continue seeking out time to spend with each other. Get to know one another and ask important questions to engage in meaningful discussion.
This habit will pay off dividends for years to come.
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Create A Peaceful Home
Creating a peaceful home environment can be the lifeblood of your marriage at times. Your husband may be stressed at work, but if he knows he can come home to a peaceful place where he feels loved and respected, it will completely lift his spirits.
I learned this concept in the book His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Jr. Harley, when I realized that internally all men have a desire for domestic support. They want to know they have a confident wife at home that is managing the home well and taking care of home life purposefully.
A peaceful home is a wonderful habit to start now so that when children arrive on the scene you won’t have to form a brand-new habit at the same time.
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Flirt
Don’t stop flirting with each other! Keep throwing in sly comments here or there. Continue to joke about sexual things. Don’t let the mundane areas of life kill the infatuation you had for each other completely.
Related Post: How To Plan A Remote Honeymoon In The Mountains
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Check-Up On Each Other
Every day at lunch I call my husband to see how his day is going. I loved making this one of the habits of a new wife in my life because it allows us to stay connected, and on the same page, and also remind each other that I still think you are the most important person in my life.
This can also be a simple text message here and there. Remind each other that you are thinking of one another. Thoughts go a long way, but only if you put them into action!
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Rely On God To Fill All Your Needs
You will never be truly fulfilled or satisfied without God. You can try to find it in other things – hobbies, relationships, possessions, etc. The only thing that can truly fill the longing in your heart is a personal relationship with your creator.
I tried at times at the beginning of my marriage to find all my fulfillment in my husband. I want his love to be enough and I did a poor job of turning to God to fill all my desires. Only God has everlasting love that never fails.
I encourage you to make a habit of reading the Bible and studying God’s word each morning. Pray and meditate over it. Keep God at the center of your life, even as a brand new wife. Let God be the one your turn to first, and then your husband second.
There you have it! All 27 Habits That Will Make You The Best Brand New Wife! Which one spoke to you the most? What point will you begin implementing today?
Let me know in the comments below!
Kelsey at GoodPointGrandma
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As a newlywed myself, I really appreciate these faith-based tips! I especially love tip 3 about encouraging your husband, it’s so important to do!
Thanks for the encouragement Rachel!
Literally ALL OF THIS! So important. I love that you mentioned the love languages, too. So many people miss that and I truly believe it’s the root of many issues in marriages – not knowing AND learning one another’s love languages.
Yes! So important!
What a sweet post! I’ve been married a little over a year, and have been with my husband for over 4 years, so I can definitely say I have experience in a LOT of these things. Now, we just need someone to write an article like this for husbands 😉
Hahaha right! (:
This gave me a lot to think about. Even though I’m not yet married, a lot of these are still applicable in any romantic relationship. I’ve also been wanting to read 5 Love Languages, I really need to check it out!
Yes, I highly suggest it, Maddie!
YES! You totally nailed this. I’ve been married for almost 9 years now, and these habits are spot on.
Thanks so much Lily!