51 Important Questions To Ask Before Marriage For Christian Couples

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I remember discussing these questions to ask before marriage when my husband and I were dating and engaged. We would spend hours and hours just talking with each other!

There was so much to learn about the other person because there were 23 years of their life we had each completely missed out on. But, when you’re in love it doesn’t feel overwhelming. It is actually a fun adventure discovering everything you can about the other person!

I decided to put the majority of the questions we discussed in this list to help you cover all your bases before marriage! It’s so much better to discuss everything you can before marriage. You don’t want to find any hidden skeletons in the closet after you tie the knot.

And being open and honest with each other before marriage is so foundational to what your marriage will actually look like!

As Christians, my now husband and I met with our pastor and his wife weekly during our engagement. It was pre-marital counseling to work through anything in our past or current lives that may affect our future marriage. I highly recommend it for all couples as it was beneficial to us!

But discussing these questions to ask before marriage with each other taught us so much about the other person. You certainly can’t know every fine detail about a person before marrying them, but it is so important to learn as much as can since marriage is a lifelong commitment!

Let’s check out those questions now…

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ROMANCE

What are your love languages? What is the best way for me to show you love?
What is your sexual history? How were you raised regarding purity and sex?
What are your expectations for romance on our honeymoon? What about marriage?
If we are not able to have children, what are your thoughts?
What is your first choice for birth control options?
Do you think marriage will make you feel complete? Does my love for you determine your worth?
How will conflict affect our romantic life? How do you respond when you feel hurt?
How important is physical attraction to you?
Are we interested in the same things when it comes to sexual accessories?
Will you share intimate details with others, even if it’s just to make a joke?

THE PAST

What were your parents like in your childhood? How did they raise you?
When you are alone, are you different than when you are in public? Has that changed over the years?
What have you felt has been a calling or passion in your life? How do our passions align?
Who is someone you have respected in your past? Why?
What is a situation you deeply regret in your past? How has it changed who you are today?
Have you ever tried to be someone you are not?
Who have you dated in the past? Do you still have feelings for them or communicate with them?
Have you ever experienced abuse or witnessed abuse by someone you love?
What are some bad habits you have? How do you work on those?
Do you turn to violence easily? Do you have an example in your past? How do you handle your emotions?

THE FUTURE

What role will our parents play in our lives after marriage? What boundaries will be in place?
What role do you see yourself playing in our marriage? What duties will you have responsibility for?
Do you want children? What kind of parent do you see yourself as?
What goals do we have in our future? Where do we see ourselves in five, ten, or twenty years?
Do you see yourself having any pets in the future?
Where do you see yourself living and in what kind of home do you desire to live?
Is there anything you would never do in the future?
How will you provide for me and our family (for the man)?
How will you be a homemaker and care for our family’s needs (for the woman)?
What potential season of our adult life intimidates you the most?

SPIRITUAL

Is marriage a covenant or just a contract to you? Will you be looking for an “upgrade” in a few years?
What does being a selfless servant in our marriage look like to you?
What does respectful communication look like to you in marriage?
Do you read your bible, pray, and attend church regularly? What does a relationship with God look like to you?
What is your testimony?
Are you obedient to God’s word? What is something that is difficult for you to understand or follow in the Bible?
What are your besetting sins? How can we best hold each other accountable in those areas?
Do you trust me? What happens if trust is broken?
If we have trouble in our marriage, what steps do we take to resolve it?
What does disciplining children look like for you? How do we raise them to be Christians?

COMBINING OUR LIVES

What hobbies can we do together in marriage?
Who will manage the finances and what does that look like?
Can we share literally everything, even opening up each other’s mail?
What does a day-in-the-life look like for you?
How do we visit both sides of the family? What do the holidays look like?
What are our differences and how may they stand in the way of our relationship in the future?
What lifestyle do you desire to maintain?
What is the most important thing to you in this world? How do you rank things in importance?
What are your political views?
How do you define health and wellness?

FINAL QUESTION OF THE QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE MARRIAGE

What does your gut say about our relationship?

These are the questions to ask before marriage to bring up important and necessary conversations with your potential future spouse! The more honest and open you can be with each other before marriage, the better.

What do you think is the most important question out of the questions to ask before marriage? Let me know in the comments below!

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Kelsey at GoodPointGrandma

Hey there, I'm Kelsey! I'm so glad you are here. I'm a 20-something helping you live your most fulfilling life. I hope you'll join me in this old-fashioned & simple lifestyle!