If you’ve been told all the negative reasons to have a baby after marriage, then you are not alone. In our culture today having a baby right after marriage is usually frowned upon.
“You need time to get to know your spouse first.” “You’ll regret not having the freedom to travel and have more experiences while you’re young.” “Once you have children everything changes so soak it in while you can.”
All these things and more are often said to newlywed couples, and it breaks my heart. Why is having a baby right after marriage, whether it’s a honeymoon baby or in the first few years, looked down upon?
After marriage, the desire to have children is completely natural! In fact, children are only considered a blessing from the Lord in the Bible. Yet, today they are labeled as cumbersome, freedom-stealing, and just plain hard work.
There are certainly times and reasons when it makes sense to wait to have a baby after marriage. But, for the most part, we shouldn’t be discouraging others from pursuing the higher calling of parenthood.
Let’s dive in…
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Our Story
When my husband and I were first married we planned to wait to have children for a few years by using NFP (natural family planning). With prayer, we considered it wise to both continue working for some time, pay off our mortgage, and save money for our future goals.
It’s not wrong to want to start your parenting journey off on the right foot financially. However, our desire to have children grew quickly. We purchased two puppies on our honeymoon and quickly realized that even pets can’t fulfill the desire the Lord gives you for children.
Only seven months into marriage we became pregnant with our daughter. We were thrilled but also nervous because this now meant that we had trust God in a new way. We were pulled out of our perfect five-year plan and out of our comfort zone, and had to leave the future in God’s hands!
Now several years later, we look back and are so thankful the Lord blessed us with our children when He did! It has been incredible to have a baby after marriage and I can’t wait to share all those benefits with you below.
But it all boils down to your perspective and your heart’s motive. Do you view children as a blessing, especially when you have a baby after marriage? Do you trust that God is sovereign to provide in any season of life? Or do you selfishly want to keep enjoying life as you intend, and a baby will only get in the way of that?
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No Need To Reorder Your Life Later
Waiting several years to have a baby after marriage means that you will have to completely reorder your life when it arrives. And yes, at any point having a baby will cause change. But, when you have a baby after marriage you will avoid more of that change in the future.
After we found out we were pregnant only a few months after marriage, we took a leap of faith and purchased 80 acres to begin homesteading. Moving right after she was born was crazy, but it allowed us to establish our dream life right from the start!
We didn’t have to uproot everything because we were already newlyweds working our setting up our lives together. Now that we were married and going to have a baby after marriage, we could start investing in every area of our lives without worrying about it changing one day when we decided to start a family.
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Grow Together As A Couple
So many people told us to wait to have children so we could grow together as a couple first. I completely disagree with this statement. You don’t need time to grow together before you have children when you can do that while you have children!
In fact, having children has only made us stronger as a couple because of all the conversations it has brought up. It causes you to start thinking about discipline, schooling, community, and so much more!
Before we had children, we were both still living our separate lives in a way. We would both go to our day job to come home and only crash at night. We also didn’t have much more freedom to travel or go to events than we do now post-children.
Now we just take the children along now with us with everything we do! It makes it so fun to all be together as a family! Our children have truly brought us so much joy.
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Peak Fertility Years
When you are younger, especially in your 20’s, you are in your peak fertility years. It is easier to have children! From conception to staying active during pregnancy, to having the energy to keep up with your toddlers, it is easier the younger you are.
As you get older, having children can wear on you more. It’s just a fact of life. Why not give your children the best of you while you are young?!
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Have An Accurate Budget From The Beginning
When you have children, your budget changes. While children aren’t extremely expensive when you don’t mind second-hand items, the expenses can still add up at times.
If you have a baby after marriage, you can start understanding what your actual financial needs are from the very beginning. It gives you the opportunity to trust God with your finances more too!
Like us, so many people don’t want to have a baby after marriage because of their financial state. There is wisdom in that, but also, our perspective needs to change. We are considered rich to the rest of the world in our Western culture! We have more than we could ever need in a lot of ways and are extremely blessed.
With creativity, almost everyone can find a way for a baby to financially work for their family! Even if you are becoming a stay-at-home mom immediately like I was, just downsizing your lifestyle in various ways makes it easy to financially have a child!
Related Post: Can You Become A One Income Family? Here’s How We Survive and Thrive!
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Enjoy The Blessings Immediately
I can’t tell you how much joy our children bring us. It is so fun to experience the world through their eyes. We love teaching them new things every day and spending time with them!
Children are not easy all the time, but those kisses before bed or “Mommy I love you” throughout the day make it all worth it! Now that we are on the other side of it, I totally understand why having children is such a blessing.
Don’t let the negative comments about children keep you from experiencing these incredible moments as a parent yourself!
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Enjoy The Time With Your Spouse Before Grandchildren
So often people want to use the years of their youth for selfish reasons. They want to travel or go to concerts or focus on their schooling and career before having children. But, do those things really last? Of course not.
Nothing is more significant and valuable than the higher calling of being a parent!
Instead of spending the years of your youth on selfish endeavors, spend them on your family! Your spouse and your children are the relationships that will truly matter for the rest of your life. Family is worth investing in and not worth putting off for years and years.
Instead, realize that when your children move out of the house and you wait for grandchildren to arrive, you can enjoy those years with your spouse! You can travel together, soak in all the memories you’ve made, and enjoy the fruits of your labor!
I hope these reasons to quickly have a baby after marriage were encouraging to you! Let me know, do you agree with me? Leave a comment below.
Kelsey at GoodPointGrandma
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