As a new mom with babies 13 months apart, I know that these days can be filled with so much joy, but also so much exhaustion.
My first daughter Harmony is currently 16 months old and my second daughter Floralee is just about 3 months old. This makes them about 13 months apart from each other.
If you are wondering “how” it happened, it actually wasn’t an accident at all! When my period returned at about four months postpartum with my first daughter, I had baby fever and knew I wanted to try for another one as soon as possible despite the birth ending in a c-section.
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My wonderfully supportive husband agreed and now here we are with the biggest blessings of our lives – two beautiful daughters!
Having babies 13 months apart can look different for each family. For example, Harmony, my toddler is still not fully walking. But, perhaps in other cases, their toddler has been walking for months! Additionally, gender and personality will also play into your unique experiences!
Let’s talk more about what I have done so that I can enjoy these days with two little ones…
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Consider Weaning
If your older child is still nursing, you may want to consider weaning him/her before the new baby arrives. If you have the new baby here already, and it feels overwhelming, consider weaning the toddler if it would improve your mental health.
When I found out I was pregnant with my second, I had dreams of tandem nursing, my two babies, together. My homebirth midwife did this with two of her children and was encouraging me to give it a shot.
However, near the end of my pregnancy, my milk completely dried up. I was definitely let down at first, but now looking back, I know that it was all part of God’s plan. As I think about tandem nursing now, I know I would worry and wonder if the baby was getting enough milk.
I also know that it would feel overwhelming and too much, for me personally.
You certainly don’t have to wean your older child if you also have babies 13 months apart, but, consider it. Is it something you can remove from your plate so that you have more time to rest during this difficult season?
Weaning my daughter when she turned one year old gave my body and mind one month to prepare for the next one. For me, it was a blessing. It may be for you too.
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Sleep Training
I have sleep-trained both my daughters and will sleep train any future children the Lord may have for us as well. For our family, it was been a sanity saver!
My older daughter was sleeping through the night early on. Having her consistently sleep 12 hours each night during my pregnancy and when the new baby arrived made life so much easier and enjoyable. It gave me the space to devote the care and love to the newborn required during that tender postpartum season.
I honestly don’t think I would be thriving during these days with babies 13 months apart if it weren’t for the consistent sleep me and my husband are receiving. Our newborn is already sleeping eight hours at night consistently.
We follow the Babywise method of sleep training. I talk more about this in this blog post as well.
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Daily Schedule/Rhythm
One thing I had to consider and prepare for was the change in my oldest daughter’s nap routine. She consistently had been napping twice every day, once in the morning and once in the afternoon.
However, I knew that right around the time my baby would arrive, my toddler would be about ready to drop one of her naps. Thankfully, she is just now ready for one nap a day at 16 months old so I had more time to spend with the newborn in the early postpartum days.
This is something you will want to consider, along with a daily schedule, before or right after the baby arrives. Having your toddler on a consistent schedule will make your life simple and easy as a new mom to babies 13 months apart!
Extra Help and Community
Lastly, you need to ask for help! It is not easy for me, and I know many other moms, to ask for help.
We feel the pressure of society to be able to do it all ourselves, but as a mom of babies only 13 months apart I can tell you that just isn’t possible. Without my husband consistently helping me, friends bringing over meals, and family visiting and offering to hold the baby or play with the toddler, I don’t know how I would have enjoyed those days.
As mothers, we need to have community and support around us during this time. Our church is a wonderful place where we receive support and encouragement! I also enjoy attending a MOPS group every other week where I can hang out with friends and other moms.
Where will you find your community during this season of life? Life can be fun and enjoyable with babies 13 months apart, especially if you have others to enjoy it with you!
Let me know in the comments below if you have any tips that I am missing! And enjoy those babies mama!
Kelsey at GoodPointGrandma
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