It’s no joke that having children changed our marriage! But with so many negative articles on the web, and even comments in real life, everyone says children only make your marriage worse off.
It can be so disheartening to see and hear. Children are only viewed as annoying, a nuisance, and they stop you from achieving all your dreams and goals in life.
Instead, we choose to view children as a blessing! It’s all about perspective. When we found out we were pregnant with our first only seven months into marriage we were thrilled! It wasn’t exactly planned but we knew the joy that would come from welcoming this little one into our arms.
Yes, children are hard, and being a parent is definitely challenging. It requires you to become more and more selfless each day. You need to be more intentional with your marriage than before. And it feels like a huge responsibility!
Now after being married for several years and having multiple children we can confidently say that though our marriage has gone through hard seasons, our children have ultimately strengthened it for the better!
Let’s dive in…
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We Always Need To Be On The Same Page
Raising children and disciplining them requires that each spouse is on the same page as one other. You need to have the same boundaries, rules, and consequences for your children, so they aren’t confused or manipulating you.
Being consistent isn’t easy at times. But having children changed our marriage by strengthening this aspect. We had to learn to communicate with each other more so we were consistent!
Children don’t pull you away from your spouse if you are intentional about staying on the same page with one another. Rather, they give you more opportunities to grow in this area of marriage.
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We Enjoy Each Other More
Because taking care of children can take up a lot of our day, we now treasure the moments we have alone together more!
We even have to schedule time to spend with each other some weeks because things get so crazy. And while that may not sound like a positive way children changed our marriage, it is!
When we value our time together as husband and wife, we connect on a deeper and more intimate level than before! We understand each other in deeper ways and appreciate the other person more.
Again, intentionality is hard, but it is so worth it for a happy and thriving marriage after children!
Related Post: 6 Encouraging Reasons To Quickly Have A Baby After Marriage
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It Strengthens Us Spiritually
We realized children changed our marriage for the better spiritually when they started keeping us up all night! With no more energy and time to commit to regular bible study during pregnancy and postpartum, we knew we need better systems in place.
There are always seasons in life where consistent quiet time with the Lord just isn’t feasible. But, when it is, we have to be more on top of it now that we have children!
Because we are more intentional we actually are getting more out of time with the Lord! Children challenge us regularly to find the time to grow spiritually and as a result, they make us better people!
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We Connect On Deeper Levels
Topics that never came up in conversation before children now regularly do. As parents, we think deeper about the world because we are raising the next generation!
We care more about how we raise our children, what our future looks like, where we spend our money, and so on. Children cause you to use that new responsibility to care deeper about things.
These topics make us connect on deeper levels as a couple. As parents, we have wonderful conversations that challenge us and grow us, instead of just staying happy with the area of life we are in.
Related Post: How To Strengthen Your Marriage With Love Notes
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It Forces Us To Be More Intentional
Children changed our marriage for the better because overall we are just more intentional about everything! As I mentioned earlier, we are more intentional about our time together, our time spent with the Lord, and our conversations.
We are also more intentional about the difference we are making in this world. How we care and interact with others is definitely more of a focus!
None of this is easier with children, but it is certainly for the better! Again, it’s all about your perspective. How do you view children? As something that can challenge and equip you to become a better person? Or would you rather choose to selfishly keep doing what you are doing?
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We Have New Perspectives On The World
Lastly, as parents, we view the world completely differently now that we have children. Suddenly, it’s not about us but it’s about them. How can equip them to live in this world and how can we change the world for the better?
And also, how can we set the best example for them and raise them well? Your perspective on the world will be a driving factor in how you raise your children!
Children can make life hard but they also make it so much more joyful! And they will cause you to work for your marriage! Being more consistent and intentional in your marriage won’t come easy but it is worth it.
They change you as a person in countless various ways, and they change your marriage for the better when you put in the hard work!
Children changed our marriage for the better. Do you agree? Let me know in the comments below!
Kelsey at GoodPointGrandma
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