How To Strengthen Your Marriage With Love Notes

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There are so many things you can do to help your marriage, but I would encourage you to begin to strengthen your marriage with love notes today!

When my husband and I started dating I had the idea to mail him a letter. He was living in a house he had bought already and I was in an apartment across town. Even though we were seeing each other every day I thought this would be a romantic gesture to try.

And it sure was romantic! I found out that my husband was very poetical through these love notes and he swept me off my feet with each one.

When we were dating we decided to never let the love notes stop between us. We didn’t know quite what that would look like after marriage, as we would be living in the same place. So, to solve the problem my husband built a mini mailbox for our bedroom.

We now send love notes to each other through the mailbox each week!

My primary love language is words of affirmation and so the best parts of my week are the days the letter is waiting for me in the mailbox!

Not sure where to start with love notes? Or nervous your significant other won’t be on board? Keep reading for some of the best tips and tricks for writing romantic love notes!

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How To Write A Love Note

I’ve been asked this before when people hear about our love note exchange. And, honestly, I think it’s a simple question.

There is no right way to write a love note.

A love note, ironically the very reason it is called a love note, should come straight from the heart.

However, that got me thinking. I think there may be one wrong way to write a love note. That way is simply that you have the wrong motive.

If your love note is to impress or woo someone over for selfish reasons, then let me be the first to tell you that it probably won’t work.

The key to a love note is that it is based on love. But how do we define love?

I Corinthians 13 defines love perfectly. Here is the ESV version for you to read:

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

I can tell you that marriage really makes you define love. And you have the decision to define it the right way or the wrong way.

I’ve learned that love is selfless, kind, and sacrificial. And boy will those things strengthen your marriage with love notes.

So, if you’re wondering how to write a love note, simply write it from the outpouring of the love in your heart.

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Examples of Love Notes

However, I do want to share some examples of love notes to help you get started if putting words on paper is not easy for you.

I love to look at how people did it back in the “olden days” to really get a good idea because they didn’t have the technology we have. It almost makes it feel like they really knew how to share their heart because it was done much more often and naturally.

I love this blog post of the most romantic love notes written because it gets your heart all gushy and in the mood. If you want an even older example from biblical times then check out the book Song of Solomon in the Bible.

Jane Austen is a classic writer that always had wonderful examples of love letters in her books like this one found here:

Upon my soul I can think of nothing else. The time is passed when I had power to advise and warn you against the unpromising morning of my Life. My love has made me selfish. I cannot exist without you. I am forgetful of everything but seeing you again–my life seems to stop there–I see no further. You have absorbed me. I have a sensation at the present moment as though I was dissolving–I should be exquisitely miserable without the hope of soon seeing you. I should be afraid to separate myself far from you.

Love notes should tell of your longing for the other person. That you miss them, their touch their smell, their taste, etc.

They should also declare all the things you love about the recipient. Tell them that you love how strong, kind, or handsome they are. Pick out one trait you love about them that you have recently seen in action and elaborate on it.

When you are writing a love note, don’t be scared to be dramatic. Use imagery. Find a way to say something without simply saying it. Add random detail or create an imaginary scene in the reader’s mind.

A good love note will transport you to a new place. It will make you feel gushy inside because it will be an outpouring of love. That’s how you strengthen your marriage with love notes.

Need more help? Try these prompts next to get you started on how to strengthen your marriage with love notes…

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Love Note Prompts To Get You Started

While these prompts focus on the romantic side of love notes, I encourage you to add your own day-to-day mess to them. That’s what makes them so special to your relationship.

For example, I will be all gushy and romantic in the letter but also show my appreciation for the tasks my husband has helped me with that day. I will encourage him and acknowledge him for the work he has done.

Or, if something significant is happening in our lives, I will express my love to him through how he is handling the situation. Basically, it’s hard to give prompts for real life but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be a majority of your love note writing.

Fill in the blanks to these sentence prompts and you’ll be on your way to a beautiful love note!

“When I think about you I get lost in … It transports me to when … And my sense are sparked in the remembrance of your … “

“I can’t continue on without you. You’re … is intoxicating. I miss the … that we …. I feel … without you in my arms and I ache to be near to you.”

“I saw the way you … when … happened. That’s something I have always admired and looked for in a future spouse. It shows your … and … character. You are the perfect piece to me because your … fits exactly where I lack … It’s why my heart aches so desperately for you.”

“I miss you like a … There I something you wrong in this world when you are not by my side. You create a fire within me that cannot be put out. It’s a waterfall that cannot run dry. I want to be carried away to … with you and forever … together as one.”

“Today I loved it when you … It made me feel extremely … and I appreciate how you always make an effort to … Thank you for being the love that I need in moments like …”

How Often Should You Write Love Notes?

Again, there is no right answer to this question. In my opinion, as often as possible if it makes you both feel loved and cherished!

My husband and I have no set schedule. We are usually writing a note a minimum of once a week and a maximum of three times a week. Life is crazy. Be willing to show grace.

Hold each other accountable for writing love notes but don’t ever make it a negative thing. Love notes should only be positive and uplifting.

Make this a sacred part of your week. You can certainly strengthen your marriage with love notes when you are consistent and intentional when you write them.

Also, if you are dating or engaged, consider a love note journal. My husband and I both did this for each other and then presented it on our wedding day. It is a wonderful way to store those romantic feelings and moments for years to come.

Have you started to strengthen your marriage with love notes? What tips or tricks do you have to write the perfect love note? I’d love to know. Feel free to drop it in the comments below!

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Kelsey at GoodPointGrandma

Hey there, I'm Kelsey! I'm so glad you are here. I'm a 20-something helping you live your most fulfilling life. I hope you'll join me in this old-fashioned & simple lifestyle!