Since entering the corporate world and going through different difficult work situations I have learned that I am completely horrible at standing up for myself at work.
Maybe you are the same way. Someone accuses you of something, says something about you that isn’t true, or takes advantage of you and instead of standing up for yourself at work, you take the bullet.
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That’s what I would do. I would just respectfully and professionally take the accusation and leave it at that. But as time went on, I realized, I need to start standing up for myself at work.
There is a fine line between showing respect, taking feedback in a professional way, learning from mistakes; and also sticking up for yourself when you are falsely accused or taken advantage of.
In your 20s, as you enter the workforce, it is especially hard to learn how to stick up for yourself.
You are on a learning curve in a new workplace or a workplace that you first enter in your twenties. It takes time to learn how the office news spreads, who spreads it, what the politics are like, and how leadership handles it all.
Here are my best tips on learning how to stand up for yourself at work and how to do it all professionally.
STAND UP FOR YOURSELF AT WORK BY STAYING CALM
Reacting in anger, in any area of life actually, will never get you anywhere productive. As you might have experienced, reacting in anger often leads to regret and poor decisions.
When you feel defeated because of an accusation that comes your way could often be a turning point in how others view you and see you in light of everything.
I think this comes out of different perspectives from each party involved. While, the decision you make, may, in fact, be seemingly innocent and harmless from your perspective, it may appear manipulative or hurtful to the party’s perspective.
When we respond in anger it causes more anger and resentment to arise.
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Communication plays a key role in staying calm and not jumping to conclusions out of anger. Depending on the height of the situation, you will want to wait and process before you respond. (More on communication in a little bit.)
Standing up for yourself at work professionally means taking the bullet and the heat, thinking about it and praying or meditating over the situation, and allowing enough time to pass before making a decision.
Making a thoughtful and calm decision and reacting are two different aspects and hit on different ends of the spectrum. They can be the determining factor in how you stand up for yourself at work.
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So, the first thing to consider is, do I take the time to stay calm, avoid reacting in anger, and ponder the situation before making a thoughtful effort to communicate after that.
That question is one that I have learned in the corporate world to make wise decisions and communicate well. It has allowed me to stand up for myself at work in huge ways.
One of the most helpful books in helping me implement these ideas into my life has been The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz. You can check it out on Amazon here!
STAND UP FOR YOURSELF AT WORK BY DEFENDING YOURSELF
One of the biggest parts of the corporate world is learning to defend yourself in tricky situations. Often times we will face accusations or be confronted and not know how to defend ourselves in that situation.
If you are accused of different things that were partly true it can be really hard to know how to respond. The best way I have learned to respond is by asking for them to give clear examples to support their accusation and then for you to defend yourself with even better examples.
For example, if you are accused of always being late to turn in assignments and you feel that is an accusation that is only partly true, then ask the accuser for specific examples.
If they can come up with several examples that support their accusation, then take their word for it and respectfully take the feedback professionally.
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However, if they can only come up with a few examples, or very poor examples, then gather your own examples. Find times you have turned in assignments on time. Give the accuser those examples and defend yourself.
If you avoid this step, then it will be very difficult for you to stand up for yourself at work. I have learned from personal experience that when I don’t defend myself and just take the bullet, it may seem professional and respectful, but it is also something that then is left undealt within my heart for a long period of time.
Defending yourself is one of the best ways to stand up for yourself at work, even though it can be extremely hard and involve overcoming a lot of fears.
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STAND UP FOR YOURSELF AT WORK BY BEING CONFIDENT
If you see blog posts always floating around like “How To Be Confident Today” then you’ve probably heard a lot of the same motivational information.
While motivational content is good and necessary at times and can help you stand up for yourself at work, I think there is a better way.
Instead of just motivating yourself to be confident and trying to overcome fear, take steps of action instead. Action leads to confidence.
Here’s the thing: every time you take action on something scary and intimidating, you are boosting your confidence.
When I take any of the tips listed in this post, like defending myself and not reacting in anger, I realize that they boost my confidence. Every time you do something scary, something that intimidates the heck out of you, you become more confident.
And that’s because the first time doing anything is hard. Especially for 20-somethings, when we are just learning what the corporate world is really like. We take new actions all the time and that leads to new confidence.
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Once you do something for the second, third, or fourth time, your confidence grows in it more and more. I know a lot of people that will experience this in public speaking.
They will be scared of their mind the first time they take the stage, but the second time they become a little bit more confident because it isn’t something completely new. Then the third time, they are even more confident, and so on and so on.
One of the keys to standing up for yourself at work is by just taking action. Start by taking action on any of the tips listed in this post.
Once you take action over and over again, your confidence it is will grow. It won’t feel as new or foreign and it will help you stand up for yourself at work better each time.
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STAND UP FOR YOURSELF AT WORK BY COMMUNICATING WELL
How do you communicate respectfully and professionally when you are trying to stand up for yourself at work? I think it involves several different types of ways to relate to several different types of situations.
Communication begins after clear meditation. You have to decompress oftentimes in situations like this, and like the point above, have to be sure that you do not respond in anger.
Once you have taken the time to think about the situation and realized what you need to say to stand up for yourself at work, then it is time to put those words into a professional and respectful situation.
First, consider your body language. How will you hold yourself when you have a difficult situation or are put in a situation where you can communicate your thoughts?
It should appear relaxed and natural. Don’t cross your arms, furrow your brow, or sit in a standoff manner. Instead, hold a confident body posture, with your shoulders back and making eye contact.
Second, think about how you are going to say it. Your tone is huge when it comes to communicating well. Your tone should be bold and confident, but not aggressive or accusative.
Simply lay out your side of the story and defend yourself with the research you have. Give it as if you were telling stories or giving facts. There is no need to raise your voice or talk in a sharp or upset tone.
Your tone will help others hear you out and allow you to stick up for yourself at work better.
Third, understand what being a professional means. This is not about getting your way. Instead, it is about making sure you are being classy. This article from Classy Career Girl adds that touch really well.
Being professional means always treating others how you want to be treated.
It means being courteous and considering the other side’s perspective. If you continue to put others before yourself and show self-sacrificial love it will allow you to communicate better overall.
The way you view others often comes out in the way you communicate. When you put others first, treat them with respect, and treat them the way you would want to be treated, even in hard times, it will allow you to communicate well.
When we communicate professionally and respectfully at work it is easier for us to stand up for ourselves and be heard. Others will give you a voice when you put them first.
As backward as it may sound, being self-sacrificing, meeting the needs of others, and looking for ways to help others is the ultimate way to make a difference in this world.
Self-sacrificing does not come easy, but it plays into directly how we communicate with others. Learn more about it in The Magic Of Thinking Big.
STAND UP FOR YOURSELF AT WORK BY SAYING NO
This one was huge for me and probably for you too if you are reading this article. One of the reasons I struggle with standing up for myself at work is that I want to be nice. I feel mean for saying “no” or “that’s not true.”
When we say no, we have to realize that we are not being mean but simply being truthful in what we believe is correct. If you are accused of something incorrectly or just not sure how to handle a certain situation, then you are responsible for saying no to be truthful and correct.
Changing my perspective on what it really looks like to say no has been a game-changer.
Instead of just taking the bullet and agreeing with something that doesn’t seem fair or right, I can now say no and give my side of the story. While this is easier said than not, it is one of the most freeing ways to stick up for what is true.
When we say yes all the time, it may appear the easy and the right thing to do, but it’s going to be hurting us in the long run.
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First practice saying no in small areas of your life. This could be simple like no picking up overtime at work or signing up for another project you can’t handle.
Then, when it comes to something bigger, you will feel more confident and it will come more naturally to say no. If you are a continual, “yes” person or a people-pleaser, then this is the first area you need to start practicing on to stand up for yourself.
All in all, remember that you are a valuable employee. Your thoughts and what you have to say is important. Standing up for yourself at work can be something that you really struggle with and can be very hard to do.
Take the time to study these steps, ask yourself how you can begin implementing them at work and start taking action on them today.
You learn by doing and making a difference in what you have said. Keep sacrificing and putting others’ needs before yourself.
Remember to stay calm, defend yourself, be confident, communicate well, and learn to say no. Begin implementing these five tips today and you’ll surely see yourself thrive as you were standing up for yourself.
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I used to work in a bad environment for a while, where it was so hard to avoid gossip and “blame”. I was the only one who didn’t smoke and because I was working in the marketing department, I used to be in a different office. Just because I would take different breaks so I don’t have to spend my lunch in an environment full of cigarette smoke made me the gossip of the office. I hated it so much, I was glad when I was promoted and I left to a different office, in a different country.
Wow, thanks for sharing that Joanna. That is definitely relatable to a lot of people!
I can imagine this would be tricky. I’m not always a fan of confrontation, but if I need to stand up for myself, I will.
I am the exact same way Amber! Hopefully these tips can help those of us that struggle with it a bit more!
Believe me, after reading this, many of the points here have reminded one of my very old posts’ ‘Things which I should have known earlier’.
Oooh that sounds like a great post! I need to check it out!
This is an amazing read and really it should be circulated everywhere. This is a very important topic that no one has taught us really! I had to rely on trial and error to learn how to stand up for myself at work.
Chad
http://www.mosaicslab.com
That means so much to me Chad. I know a lot of us go through this so I help it is very helpful!
These are some great tips, it can be hard to stand up for yourself in the workplace, especially when it someone above you. I am sure these will help a lot of people.
Thank you so much Sarah!
This is a very interesting debatable topic, and thanks to you for sharing this useful measures.
Hope it helps(:
These are great points in standing up for yourself. I know that keeping calm helps a lot
It was a huge thing for me to identify…lashing out never works.
It takes a lot of courage to stand up for what we’re believe in, but we got to do it. Nobody will do it for us. These are great tips! It’s important to stay focused and advocate for our rights.
XO
Candace
http://www.thebeautybeau.com
Exactly Candace, thank you!
Great read. Loved the tips on learning how to stand up for yourself at work, will deff apply some of these
Happy to help(:
This article would have been really helpful in my 20s — I didn’t enter the workforce until after med school, but it was important as a female physician to stand up for myself. It helped that I am tall so I may have gotten a little more respect as a rule. Following these steps can improve your chances of success!
Thanks so much for sharing Dominique! Couldn’t agree more!
Sometimes, no matter what you do, it backfires. It’s always good to try first but, never bad to call it quits if nothing works.
Very good point!!
We are totally hooked on to your blog. No wonder we are coming back again and again for more info.
Thanks for the compliment Sundeep!
One golden rule that we can apply wherever we are is to treat others the way we want ourselves to be treated. These are excellent tips on how we can stand up for ourselves at workplace.
Totally agree Angela!!
This was great advice. I use to have such a hard time standing up for myself. After a few times of being run over, I caught on real quick.
Yes, that’s often what happens before we realize it:/ but identifying our weaknesses is getting half-way there! Thanks for sharing(:
I am also one that is not good at standing up for myself. These tips will come in handy when faced with a confrontation, thanks!
Glad I could help Natalie!
Learning to stand up for yourself will help you take charge of your life, believe in your own power and strength. I love reading about it. Thanks!
We got this!! Thanks for reading!
Those are great suggestions. It is so hard to stand up for ourselves in the professional world!
I agree, Laura! Thankful these tips can help us out(:
I believe people should stand up for themselves in every arena. I like your point to stay calm so that you can respond, rather than react.
Thanks Rachel!!
[…] How To Stand Up For Yourself At Work Professionally […]
I’ve been teaching courses on this subject for years, and I have to say hats off to you and your valuable content, I’m sure you help a lot of people with their communication skills. Keep up the good work.
Thank you Dan!