The Ultimate Guide To #Adulting
Because #ADULTING.
Do you feel in the dark? I know I did after I graduated college! Here's everything you need to know to start your SUCCESSFUL adult life!
My personality plus the cultural push I faced to do something great for this world led me to the point of full-on busyness intoxication.
It happened in college. I loved being able to get involved in so many things and be a leader on campus that I didn’t even realize my addiction of stress and busyness.
I completed college in three years and I was on the soccer team, so that should have been enough being a student-athlete but I also need a part-time job plus I felt called to lead the campus chapter of Habitat for Humanity. That’s right, not just participate but also be the president. Oh, and I was a small group leader on the soccer team and throw a boyfriend into the mix. Bam.
Every second of my day was taken.
They were all good things, and things I am so glad I was a part of, but the key here is that it was too much and I didn’t stop it.
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I called my parent’s once just listing everything I was involved with and doing and they told me to cut it down but I couldn’t because I was already committed. I didn’t know how to say no.
But if you’re like me, in college I only considered addictions to be drugs, alcohol, porn, etc. I would never have considered myself an addict.
Addiction is merely focusing on or doing something excessively. And my addiction of stress and busyness became my focus. It’s not until now, a full year out of college, that I have come to realize it was a problem.
The Ultimate Guide To #Adulting
Because #ADULTING.
Do you feel in the dark? I know I did after I graduated college! Here's everything you need to know to start your SUCCESSFUL adult life!
Signs you have to break the addiction to stress and busyness:
1. You can’t sit still.
In college, my friends would sit down at night to watch a movie but I could never make it through a whole one. I either had some meeting to be at or a paper to write. And even if I did have some free time I filled it with more work to get more money.
Every time I sat down I got right back up again. Does that sound like you?
2. You only say “Yes” and never say “No.”
You have an addiction of stress and busyness if you are always accepting the next available invitation to whatever it might be. If you’re always looking for something to do and always agreeing to do it.
Every time I had the chance to do something else I did. I wanted to do it all so I did do it all. I didn’t know how to turn down an amazing offer because in my head I’m thinking, “Why would I do that and lose out on an incredible opportunity?” What I should have been thinking about was my mental, physical, and spiritual health.
Related Post: How To Beautifully Live A Simple Life Each Day
3. You haven’t taken any time for yourself in a long time.
The last time you sat down and took the time to meditate, think, relax, explore alone or just be silent was…um, wait, you can’t remember.
That was me. My planner was always full, and I mean always jam-packed with things. I loved that I kept busy because I felt like I was accomplishing so much (but more on that in a bit).
If I had a chance for free time to myself I filled it with something else.
You’re choosing everything and anything over alone time with just you, yourself, and I.
4. You’re compromising your mental, physical, or spiritual health.
You don’t have time to read your Bible. You don’t have time to go to the gym. You don’t have time to go on a relaxing walk outside. Or so you say.
Everyone has the same amount of time every day, it’s just how you choose to spend it.
If you are facing emotional distraught, gaining weight, or avoiding spiritual rituals there is a good chance you have an addiction of stress and busyness.
5. You look at your calendar more than you do faces.
I must have opened my planner a hundred times a day in college. Always mapping out each day and filling it with activities, meetings, and assignments.
I regularly chose to look at my planner instead of my friends’ faces. I didn’t even realize it.
You may be putting activities before people and stress is the driving factor behind that.
So is there a solution??
On the Strengths Finders test, one of my top five has always been Achiever. As an Achiever, I have the desire and need to feel like I have accomplished something every day. I must feel productive. It’s who I am.
Knowing this in college, I used that as an excuse. I said I need to be this busy and this stressed because that’s who I am. I was believing a lie that just isn’t true. Yes, I am an Achiever, but that does not mean I need to be at the level of busyness I was at.
Like everything in life, we all seek balance. Others who are not Achievers similar to me often struggle with laziness.
Laziness can be an addition as well and comes in several forms, often alongside Netflix, food, and lack of exercise.
So every person in life tries to balance both these extremes. But here’s the thing I’ve learned so far in my twenties out of college: There is no such thing as a balanced life.
No one will ever have it nailed down or have figured out the magic potion. We will all lean to one side more than the other but we can work towards coming closer to the balance.
I’d like to say I have all the answers but I don’t. I’d also like to say I conquered this addiction in college but I can’t.
I graduated and was right away burnt out. Now, a year later I have been working to find balance in my life.
Here are some practical tips for you that have been a lifeline to me whenever I feel like I’m falling back into the addiction of stress and busyness again:
1. Find one or two healthy side hustles.
Now that I am out of college working a nine-to-five, I realized I had the remaining eight hours of my day to do whatever I wanted. That gave me the opportunity to begin pursuing things I am passionate about.
In college, when I tried everything it wasn’t healthy because it was excessive. However, I will always be pursuing something because that is how God wired me. My personality calls me to be productive and my heart calls me to make a difference in this world.
Those things together have allowed me to pursue a healthy side hustle on the hours I have free from work. I am pursuing a business in essential oils with Young Living (which you read all about here) and I am also pursuing writing with this blog.
A healthy side hustle means I find joy in pursuing something. It also means I can be busy and experience occasional stress but it is not something I face an excessive amount of.
Related Post: How To Easily Incorporate Essential Oils Into Your Life
2. You knew this was coming, Say “No.”
One of my all-time favorite books is The Best Yes by Lisa Terkherst (check it out on Amazon here). She teaches you how to say no to everything you don’t need and how to say yes to the one thing you think is important in your life right now.
Looking back, I should have said no to being a soccer small group leader and probably no to leading Habitat my second year. But that was so hard for me to do. I would have had the most courage in my life to say no to those things but instead, I took on the responsibility.
Learning to say no means learning to let go and letting go means learning to say yes to God.
Related Post: 17 Steps To Saying No In Tremendous Ways – Part 1
Saying no is often an act of faith. It is bravery, courage, and valor.
The more I spend time with God, the more I pray and give thanks to Him, and the more I am able to have faith in the “Yes” He wants me to give to Him. I can overcome my addiction of stress and busyness when I hand it over to Him.
3. Write this everywhere as a reminder: You can’t and shouldn’t do it all.
I mean it. Right now, find a pen and paper or phone background and write it down. Then stick it on your bathroom mirror and closet door.
Addictions take a lot of hard work. If you’re ready to conquer this addiction you need daily reminders to help you on the journey.
God has big plans and dreams for your life when you let Him. Surrendering what you have to Him means He will guide it how He sees best. Pray for Him to give you the ability to give up control and give it to Him.
4. Get an accountability partner to escape the lies.
Busyness and stress often are rooted in the desire of wanting to control things you can’t control.
An accountability partner is absolutely necessary for conquering addiction, especially this one. If no one is holding you accountable, it will be so easy to fall back into the place you once were.
Our American culture is going to make you believe you need to be busy to feel loved or valued. The culture is going to tell you that your worth is found in how much you’re involved in or how often you do activities.
Those lies go straight to my head so I’m sure they go straight to yours.
Lies need to be conquered and they need to be conquered alongside someone else. A good accountability partner will be someone that will check in regularly, ask you about the addiction, and most importantly, be someone that isn’t scared to tell you the truth when you need it.
5. Schedule time for yourself.
This is something that felt so awkward for me at first. I was like, what do you mean I have to write my time alone to myself in my planner? That just seems weird.
But just like here married couples say that before marriage it was easy to go on dates, we went on dates all the time! They always say that after marriage you need to schedule dates. You need to right that time into your calendar.
With this addiction, you need to write in time for yourself. Whether you’re introverted or extroverted, you need to take time to be alone.
The Ultimate Guide To #Adulting
Because #ADULTING.
Do you feel in the dark? I know I did after I graduated college! Here's everything you need to know to start your SUCCESSFUL adult life!
If you’ve struggled with stress and busyness in the past or currently I am right there with you. I was so good at time management I thought I could do it all. But I learned it isn’t worth it.
It isn’t worth sacrificing your health, your family time, or anything else important to you just to stay busy. I was so burnt out after college that I realized I could not do this for the rest of my life.
I had to learn to say no. I had to learn to make my alone time a priority. I had to learn to find my best yes and put my time there. I had to learn to keep my health and overall wellness as the main concern.
You don’t have to sit still all the time. It is good and healthy to be active and involved, but excessive busyness and stress are not healthy.
Remember, you’ll never achieve the perfect balance but you have to start implementing these techniques to start escaping the addiction.
I’m rooting for you to conquer a great deal in this world. I rooting for you to remain a hard worker but not let that work rule your life. I’m rooting for you to give your day-to-day schedule to the Lord and praise Him for what He has planned for your life.
Let’s together focus on living our most fulfilling lives.
I’d love to hear your favorite part of this blog post! Would you share it with me down below?
Kelsey at GoodPointGrandma
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