The Ultimate Guide To #Adulting
Because #ADULTING.
Do you feel in the dark? I know I did after I graduated college! Here's everything you need to know to start your SUCCESSFUL adult life!
Today is a day where I just want to be real and raw and authentic in a world where we always try to present ourselves in an overly perfect way.
So I am writing a letter to the person that grew up in a Christian home or environment and was a Christian that never made any mistakes.
Dear friend,
You may be like me. You kept all the rules.
I grew up in a Christian home and between church, youth group, Christian summer camp, and Christian school I was taught what not to do.
I heard testimonies in chapel each week of mistakes others had made throughout high school, college, and beyond. Whether it was getting involved in sex, drinking, drugs, you name it – they were facing the consequences.
They would share their story and then proceed with the life lesson: imploring us to not make the same mistakes.
“Learn from my mistakes,” they said. And so I did. I obeyed. I didn’t do the bad things and did do the good things, like volunteer work, raising money for people that needed help, and serving others. I was called “goody-two-shoes.” Anyone else?
As a Christian that never made any mistakes, I thought I was living better than my peers and following Jesus perfectly.
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But I wasn’t living a perfect life, even if I was a Christian that never made any mistakes. I wasn’t better than any of my fellow classmates and friends. Because, even if we don’t fall for the “big sins” as we like to call them, you fall for other smaller deep-rooted heart issues. Mine crept in slowly and it had a name.
Self-righteousness.
The lie is that you are morally superior to others because of how you view yourself compared to them.
So that was the beginning that led to a judgmental and prideful heart.
On the outside, I appeared kind and honest, and very obedient. And I was. But you would have never guessed the major heart issue growing below.
I am no better than the drunks and the prostitutes. Yet, I thought I was.
Following all the rules, listening to all the sermons, and reading all the Christian books – these were both a blessing and a threat. While they did teach me valuable lessons and point me towards a stronger God-honoring character, they also played a role in leading to my self-righteous behavior. Although it was never verbal behavior, it showed up in my body language and how I presented myself in situations.
Self-righteousness is not taught enough to Christian youth. At least it wasn’t taught to me. We weren’t warned of heart issues nearly as much as we are warned about sex before marriage or drunkenness.
I wasn’t warned and it crept in slowly after years and years of comparing my good behavior to the poor behavior of others.
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This is why I am writing this letter. This letter is to share my story so you can be warned.
Self-righteousness is easy to fall prey to, especially in the Church. Especially for the Christians that never made any mistakes.
It slowly became a voice in my head. When I heard of someone else’s sin, I could say “At least I never did that…”
When you think those thoughts, let them be your first warning of self-righteous behavior creeping in. It is a temptation that the devil uses on us often, and pushes us to fall into this trap. I am so grateful for a God that is righteous and holy and loving above all of us and provides a way out.
So, how have I overcome being self-righteous and judgmental?
First, I did not do anything. God is my righteousness and I have learned that I can do nothing apart from Him.
We overcome sin through His power alone. And even though sin is not overcome once, but is often an ongoing battle, we know we have God on our side.
After awareness, it begins with studying God’s word and growing in His power through prayer.
The parable of The Pharisee and the Tax Collector is a great place to start in studying your heart for self-righteousness.
Luke 18:9-14 (ESV)
9 He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt: 10 “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.11 The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’13 But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.
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Humility is the key to overcoming pride, a judgmental attitude, and a self-righteous heart.
Ask yourself, “Where can I see self-righteous thoughts creep into my head throughout the day?” Awareness often leads to the Holy Spirit prompting us at the time to happen next, helping us recognize them.
My last piece of advice is volunteering. When I was volunteering in college for Habitat for Humanity, was when I noticed myself truly becoming humble.
Volunteering and helping someone else just simply out of kindness forces you to recognize the needs of others. You notice that the world does not revolve around you or your problems. You see a different perspective.
I still remember the first house dedication I attended with Habitat for Humanity. It was a mother and two younger girls moving into a small two-bedroom house in Waukegan, Illinois. The joy on their faces as they were handed the key to their house alongside a Bible dedicated to them was unexplainable. They were beyond grateful to have a house that they could call their own. They were rejoicing and welcoming everyone inside to see the place. They cried as they thanked each volunteer that worked on the house. My heart was full of joy.
That house dedication sparked thoughts in my head like “Wow, this family has hardly anything, yet look at how happy and humble they are today.” My heart changed directions, as I studied their smiles and watched their tears. They told me how long they had been waiting, how hard they had been working, and how far they had come for this day to finally arrive. I hugged them and sent a prayer to heaven thanking God for His goodness.
Their humility sparked humility within me.
See, we feel like we are better than others just because we haven’t done something “as bad as them” yet God sees us all as black as sin. However, He sent His Savior to wash us clean and provide us with His righteousness.
Self-righteousness is an enemy to be fought and a battle to be won.
Would you label yourself as a Christian that never made any mistakes? Let me know in the comments below!
The Ultimate Guide To #Adulting
Because #ADULTING.
Do you feel in the dark? I know I did after I graduated college! Here's everything you need to know to start your SUCCESSFUL adult life!
Kelsey at GoodPointGrandma
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I was that Christian who never made any mistakes, and I had to learn a lot of humility when I did.
Thanks for sharing!