The Ultimate Guide To #Adulting
Because #ADULTING.
Do you feel in the dark? I know I did after I graduated college! Here's everything you need to know to start your SUCCESSFUL adult life!
There are several things I wish I practiced in college. College was not easy. Before going to college everyone tells you how fun it is, the memories they experienced those years and they reminisce about the good times.
And yes, I had a blast in college. But I also had some of my hardest moments.
College brings situations you never thought you’d experience. It introduces you to people you’ve never met before. And college gives you the opportunity to question everything you’ve ever believed.
Throughout college, I grew so much as a person. It is my number one personal growth experience in my life. I learned more about the world, other people’s perspectives, and more about myself than I ever have before.
But through personal growth comes hard times. We can’t change without a little heat involved. In order for God to teach us lessons, you better believe He’s going to begin molding you through tough situations.
I wish I had better advice going into college.
No one told me that these hard times would hit and that they would be so extremely hard. I wish someone had given me a guidebook on what to do when I just didn’t know how to respond, how to act, or what to say or do.
These three pieces of advice would have helped me in so many ways. I hope you’ll begin practicing them for the best college experience.
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1. Positive Self-Talk Is Vital & Should Be Practiced In College
I’ll never forget one day during a college soccer meeting when we learned the skill of positive self-talk. I’ll never forget it because I suddenly realized its importance. I suddenly realized that I didn’t practice it. I was always destroying myself with my words. It was basically verbal suicide.
Positivity is what makes our hearts beat better. It’s what makes us feel more alive. We experience more joy and laughter with positivity.
Positive self-talk is more than telling yourself you are smart, beautiful, or brave.
For me, positive self-talk is crushing the lies with a truth that resonates so deep in your heart that you know God is at work through those words.
I struggle with feeling special. I don’t see myself as anything unique. It is reflected in my attitude, the way I dress, and the way I interact with others.
I’ve felt average at pretty much everything in life and when I do excel at something I make an excuse for it. When someone is impressed by how smart I am, I say it is only because I work hard. I’m not smart, I just work hard at school for good grades.
Um, no.
I am smart but I don’t just tell myself I am smart. I tell myself, “Kelsey, God created you so uniquely and gifted you in such a unique way that allowed you to be both smart and a hard worker so that you could bring glory to His name.”
My unique personality and talents are what make me so special. I’m so glad being positive now helps me realize this. I am able to flourish in these truths now.
In college, I wish I had been able to recognize the importance of this. If I could go back, I’d use positive self-talk in every situation.
When receiving a grade back I didn’t agree with, I would recite the Bible verse that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. When I was not able to travel with the soccer team because I wasn’t up to the same level as the other girls, I would remind myself that God has created me for this sucky moment, and through it, I can demonstrate the incredible character He has helped me pursue and implement. When facing an annoying situation with a friend, I would sing a hymn in my head and say a prayer while reminding myself that God is my Father and He loves me more than I can even comprehend.
I love this video about a runner who implemented positivity into her life and it completely changed everything. Being positive is just as necessary as food, water, and shelter and just as important as our feeling of fulfillment in life.
Practice being positive. Practice encouraging self-talk. Happiness will come with ease even in the hardest times. These are things I wish I had known and practiced in college.
2. You Are Not the Victim
In college, when I was feeling down about something or wrestling with a situation, the easiest thing for me to do was escape. The way I escaped was often by becoming busier.
When more free time would arise in my day I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. So when I had a free afternoon, I would get a job to fill the time. When I had a free night, I spend more time on my homework and work ahead. When I had more free time on the weekends I would fill my day with tasks, some necessary others not.
Maybe you turn to Netflix, books, food, social opportunities – whatever it is you fill your time with. It’s easy to try to just suppress those feelings of hurt, betrayal, loneliness, grief, etc.
I wish I had confronted those feelings head-on. Realized that I controlled those feelings.
After I had just broken up with my boyfriend in college I had a decision. I could blame it all on him or I could take some of the blame myself.
I could play the victim if I chose to. I did at times.
The breakup did come out of a situation in his life, but a breakup involves two people.
Playing the victim means you point fingers at everyone but yourself, while everyone is often pointing them at you.
What I failed to mention to my friends during the breakup was that I had been rude at times in our relationship. I snapped back. I had said hurtful words. I was not perfect.
Playing the victim never gets you far in life. You may be hurt and down at times but success is getting right back up.
Life is hard. Take ownership of your actions. Take responsibility for your mistakes. Take the hard road. Do hard things. Fight the good fights and don’t waste time on the bad. Make success for others.
Stop always saying that you’re the one being wronged.
Your teacher didn’t give you that bad grade. You didn’t prepare enough. Your coach didn’t take you off the playing field because he or she sucks. They took you off because you sucked. Your poor friendship isn’t because the other person is so selfish or whatever it is. It is because you are not being the best possible friend you can be.
When the perspective changes your life gets better. When you put it back on yourself, when you point your finger at yourself, there is no one else to blame.
You are responsible for your life. You are responsible for your actions. You are not entitled to anything.
I wish I practiced in college each of these truths. Live your life as if every single thing were in your hands and see where it takes you.
Related Post: How To Achieve Your Goals After College
3. There is No Need To Define Yourself Outside of Jesus and Who He Created You to Be
I waited for my full four years of high school for college because I could finally be something more.
Lol.
Don’t do this. College does have more. More people to meet, more things to do, more to learn, more places to see, and more opportunities to become what you’ve always wanted to become. It lets you define yourself in new ways.
My definition of myself went from being found in Jesus to being a college soccer player, the President of Habitat for Humanity, the three-year degree smart girl, etc.
Girlfriend, being someone’s girlfriend does not define you. You are not any more important, any more special, any more loved by being something outside of who you are in Jesus.
It is so easy in college to put some much time and energy into what labels everyone is throwing around and what labels they may be applying to you.
I knew my schedule was overloaded because of all my commitments but I never dropped any of them because they were what defined me. All good things, but my identity should have been in Christ alone.
God is who defines you and until your world spins around Him will you be able to find freedom.
Does your world spin on a best friend? Does it spin around a boyfriend? Does it spin around being an A+ student? How about being a collegiate athlete? Or President of whatever club? Or leader of the bible study?
Your world begins spinning around Jesus when You are reading His word, praying, and being in a community with other believers. He is the center of your world when You believe His truths and write them in your heart.
Jesus gets you through college.
I wish I had known how important these truths were just a year ago so I could have an even better college experience. It still would have been hard at times but it would have allowed me to be found and known in God alone.
Listen to this song today to find encouragement in God’s truths about you.
These three things are things I wish I practiced more in college, but yet I learned so much through these life lessons. How can you focus on each of these? Are they something you practiced in college? Let me know in the comments below what you practiced in college so we can encourage one another!
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Kelsey at GoodPointGrandma
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